Friday, January 11, 2008

In God's Time

I don't believe I have any male readers at the moment to gross out and I am a 100% honest on here so I will admit that yesterday when lovely Aunt Flo struck, I was absolutely crushed. Not only has my baby turned one, I'm also not pregnant. I haven't really mentioned anything about this on here because of the vulnerability of getting bashed for wanting a larger family. We already hear enough of "when are you getting fixed" from people we know thinking they know we should be done. We have decided on a not trying/not preventing approach which is actually me trying and him telling me leave him alone and let it just happen. lol

This last cycle was picture perfect. What I mean by picture perfect is my NFP (natural family planning) chart. I've been doing NFP and taking temps since Alexzandra was about 18 months. This chart was looking so pregnant. I had a huge implant looking dip and my temps stayed high till Aunt Flo struck. I wasted 3 preggo tests and Dave was so tired of hearing about me obsessing on it all. Poor poor guy. I talked about every temp and every test all the way until my period arrived. lol Anyways the past 4 cycles you could say we've "tried" and it's not happening which for me is nothing new. I've never been one to get pregnant the first try. I was really hoping this was going to be a huge late Christmas gift but sadly it didn't happen.

So we keep plugging away I suppose. I believe I finally have D on board for 2 more. He said from the beginning after Mia's birth he wasn't ready to do anything permanent and although he thinks I'm completely nuts wanting more, he respects that I just do not feel "done." He loves me that much. :) I just can't help that I'm sad month after month everytime she arrives. The kids asking for another baby breaks my heart too. I want so much to be pregnant once again and to bring another life that's part of us into this world. We just have to wait and see if what happens. I have faith that if it's in God's will, we'll be blessed once again.

8 comments:

Jennifer said...

Do not let people convince you to stop having babies. My husband had the surgery a few months ago and we are both devestated. We finally gave in to the stupid pressure our family and friends were putting on us. Minutes after the surgery we were both in tears and wishing we hadn't gone through with it. The only thing keeping me from becoming very depressed is research I have been doing into adopting. Good luck!!

maddie said...

Sabrina- I found that everytime we were just going to let it happen...it didn't cause i was obsesssed no matter what before I got pregnant with Noemi. Trust me I know it is easier than done but don't think about it too much!!! I think 6 is perfect (ummm i maybe biased i am the eldest of six...and i cant imagine my family any other way)!!!!

i think we are going to try for #2 soon as well...well we have not been preventing either...

the kids look great. I can't believe how much Damien and Mia look like eachother!!!!

maddie (bbc)

Holly said...

Good luck Sabrina! I hope next month beings you lots of pink lines and plus signs. I don't know how many children we'll have in the end, but I'm pretty sure we're not stopping at two. I really agree with the adage, "you never regret the children you have, only the ones you don't." Best wishes!

Jess said...

Best wishes that it happens soon! I really admire and appreciate large families even though I do not want one myself. I can't believe Mia is one- time sure does fly.

Adam's Mom said...

Wishing you luck hun! I know it can be frustrating but I do agree it will happen in God's time. Sending you hugs

jenn said...

I'm sorry that AF showed. I definitely feel your pain on having that "perfect" pregnant-looking chart. I can't tell you how many of those I've had that ended with AF.

I hope that #5 is as easy for you as Mia was and that it happens soon for you. I love that you want such a big family (I want 6 kids myself) and I agree with your previous posters that you shouldn't let anyone pressure you into stopping!

And I also wanted to say that I do read up here all the time, I just don't always remember to post comments! But I love reading about your family!

Kbreints said...

Wow. I have to say that I am impressed that you are wanting more. This is more evidence to teh fact that some people are MEANT to have large families, and others are not. I think that you wanting and knowing that you want more is amazing. I however know that I do not want more. I think that is equally amazing. Whatever your heart desires, that is what you should have.

Rhonda said...

I think you are awesome for wanting more kids! I know I couldn't do it! I know I am done. I praise those who want a larger family! Just try to relax and quit not trying so hard!