I don't believe I have any male readers at the moment to gross out and I am a 100% honest on here so I will admit that yesterday when lovely Aunt Flo struck, I was absolutely crushed. Not only has my baby turned one, I'm also not pregnant. I haven't really mentioned anything about this on here because of the vulnerability of getting bashed for wanting a larger family. We already hear enough of "when are you getting fixed" from people we know thinking they know we should be done. We have decided on a not trying/not preventing approach which is actually me trying and him telling me leave him alone and let it just happen. lol
This last cycle was picture perfect. What I mean by picture perfect is my NFP (natural family planning) chart. I've been doing NFP and taking temps since Alexzandra was about 18 months. This chart was looking so pregnant. I had a huge implant looking dip and my temps stayed high till Aunt Flo struck. I wasted 3 preggo tests and Dave was so tired of hearing about me obsessing on it all. Poor poor guy. I talked about every temp and every test all the way until my period arrived. lol Anyways the past 4 cycles you could say we've "tried" and it's not happening which for me is nothing new. I've never been one to get pregnant the first try. I was really hoping this was going to be a huge late Christmas gift but sadly it didn't happen.
So we keep plugging away I suppose. I believe I finally have D on board for 2 more. He said from the beginning after Mia's birth he wasn't ready to do anything permanent and although he thinks I'm completely nuts wanting more, he respects that I just do not feel "done." He loves me that much. :) I just can't help that I'm sad month after month everytime she arrives. The kids asking for another baby breaks my heart too. I want so much to be pregnant once again and to bring another life that's part of us into this world. We just have to wait and see if what happens. I have faith that if it's in God's will, we'll be blessed once again.