I'm still here!

I took a bit of a break on the blog there. Mainly because when I'm online it's for short periods of time. I have the time, I just feel like complete crap all the time.

Today is Tuesday June 28th, next Tuesday July 5th I'll have our little guy in my arms. I already have thought about how the day will go............... July 4th, I'll try to enjoy. We usually have a little party late into the night at our house lighting tons of fireworks till the wee hours of the morning. Not this year. We'll be going to bed around 10 PM immediately after the fireworks display in town. Although I'll be tucked into bed, sleep will be impossible. I'll toss and turn and poke our little man for some little assurance that he's still alive and well in there. As I doze and wake each hour I'll be constantly eyeing the clock waiting for 4AM when my alarm will go off telling me this is it and it's real. We'll get up and around although I won't be able to eat or drink which will kill me. Then at about 5 AM we'll wake the kids, that'll be fun! Tell them they have to go to Grandma's because the baby is coming out soon. Then we'll jump in the car down the street to mom's and pray she wakes up to open the door for the kids. Hopefully she's ready to care for them for the day because Dominic most likely will be ready to play! lol Then it's off to the hospital where we'll arrive at 5:30 AM. I'll check in and be given a LOVELY gown and have the straps put on so we can listen to his heartbeat for the next 2 hours. Only then will REALITY set in. I'll start freaking out like last time. Paranoia is another name for it. The nurses will be asking all sorts of questions "are you hurting?" "is everything ok?" "Why are you crying?" I'll start bawling telling Dave how much I love him and the kids in case something does go wrong during the C and I don't make it. Then my family arrives right before the 7:30 surgery. I start bawling some more and tell them how much I love them. Then the kids will come in and a huge eruption of tears will start. Then I'll be wheeled in for surgery. My OB and the other OB at the office will do my C-section. I can imagine I'll be a bit loopy but they'll still talk to me throughout the procedure. Who knows what I'll say with the drugs in my system. Then after about 15 minutes they'll announce "it's a boy!" and he'll pee all over the place while they hold him up for Dave to take pics then off to Dr Lane, our kids pediatrican. They'll bring him back so I can snuggle my head against him while Dave holds him and then after they sew me up again for the 3rd time, I'll go back to the room and hold him and attempt to breastfeed him. Then they'll ask if I want my family to come in and I'll say yes and everyone will pour in to see him. Of course the first day sucks because I can't drink anything but broth and eat jello. After that though I'll have yummy hospital food though, NOT! I'll send Dave out for Quizno's or McDonalds. By Wednesday night I'll be asking the nurses if they think I can leave bright and early Thursday AM because I'll be wanting out of the place. Hospitals are not for me. As long as I don't have a fever and he's pooping and peeing ok, I'm outta there.

I have so much to still do this week before he comes. I haven't put the carseat in, I have to find a new crib wheel since I lost one, I need to buy a mattress for Dominic's captain bed, I have to make sure my house is a shrine so if I'm in extreme pain, at least my house will be cleaned!