It's My Blog and I'll Whine If I Want To

I hate to bitch and complain about my problems no one wants to hear and I'll probably scare the hell out of my sister who plans to move in and be my Nanny when Mia pops out but I feel like I need to vent somewhere.

Things are getting rough. I think I've probably left some clues of that in a few posts below but the boys are just driving me into this sad state of despair. I bet I could go back and find blog entries where everyone posted saying Damien was going to be an angel compared to Dominic. Well he's not. He's far from angel let me tell ya. He's starting to resemble Dominic and I'm not sure if it's because of what he's seeing all the time or if anything else is going on. He's still speaking 3 words (mamma, dadda, dis) and over the weekend aquired "uh uh!" Which is supposed to be uh-oh. He's got a temper just like Dominic's and does the throwing himself, throwing objects, or hitting when something isn't his way. Together the two are just psychotic brats. I don't dare say anything to Dave because he's always thrown "this is what you wanted" in my face. He gets aggravated all the time as well by the way they act and resorts to yelling "cut it out!" alot which works for a short period of time. I'll say I do get jealous that his methods work over mine. It does piss me off because they should listen to me more than him since I'm home with them all day. He says I just give into them to easy and let them have what they want which is complete BS.

Last night Damien was running around everywhere screaming, throwing the pillows off the couch and jumping on it and I said "abaracadabra, turn back into a baby!" Dave thought it was hysterical but I told him I wish he would because life is just too hard now that he's became a toddler. He has no idea he's gone all week long and deals with the kids from 6 PM- 8:30PM. He sees the madness only on Saturdays and Sundays. I feel like I'm putting on a show anymore for everyone including him to see that everything is A-OK the way it is, but it's not. I swear all the time I think about our old life before kids getting high on Weed, drinking till we couldn't see straight and the awesome sex we had before I gained all these kid pounds. Sometimes I wish we could turn back time. I know though I would never not wish that I didn't have the kids, I just wish things would change. I think if Dominic's problems were figured out, Damien understood that you can't act like Dominic and Alex would quit with her backtalking, things would be alot better.

BREAK: OK I just had to quit typing and do the Heimlich maneuver on one of the daycare kids because she must have inhaled part of her corndog!!!! I'm on the laptop in my kitchen and she started making all these weird sounds at the table.

Anyways, things with D and I have always been pretty good throughout all the kid drama although I know we both haven't had alone time hardly EVER and it irritates him. We've only had like 6 nights in the past 6 years that we've went out and stayed out till 11. That's pretty sad and alot of it is me because I don't want to burden anyone with watching them long. I also worry the whole time I'm gone from them that something bad will happen.

I have all sorts of thoughts that everything is just going to get worse when Mia gets here. It's already chaos as it is. It's going to be even more chaotic bringing a newborn into it. Oh Lord help me. LOL