Thursday, July 03, 2008

The RIGHT Age

I don't know if anyone else had been watching The Baby Borrowers but I had been dying to after the commercials. I think the show has a great motive for showing teenagers how hard it really is to be a parent. After the 2nd episode last night, I asked D if he thought we were ready to be parents when we had Alex at 22. He said no. I told him we had our own home, decent jobs and money wasn't a deal so why weren't we ready in which he responded that we were just too young. I know he wanted to wait till we were around 30 before having kids but after having one you really don't want to wait 8 yrs later to have a sibling. Anyways he doesn't regret anything but I think he just doesn't feel like we had much time to do things before kids. We were thrown into adulthood I guess you could say. We've been together since we were 16, moved into our house at 19, partied and lived recklessly until we were 21. It was around the time I was 20-21 when that motherly instinct began to kick me in the ass. I know exactly how those girls are feeling. They love the guys in their life, think they would be a great daddy. When I had that baby fever, I began begging for a baby in which he said no way and had a zillion reasons not to. I just wanted to get the having kids stage done and out of the way so we'd still be middle-aged (not retired!) when they moved out. I also wanted to be done by the time I was 30. (that didn't happen did it!)

I have nothing against young parents if they can do it, that is awesome. By doing it I mean making it themselves like we did, not living on the system. That irritates me. I know I remember the looks, comments and advice from being a younger mom. We made it through all that, colic, and changing diapers for the first time ever. I never cried or expected anyone to take over for us because it was our responsibility. I just disagree with Dave that we were too young and not ready. I would prefer to be a young mom if I could do it again. I had our 4 kids by the time I was 29. What do you think?

6 comments:

Jennifer said...

I don't think there is ever a right time or a right age to start a family. People are all so different its impossible to came up with a good time for everyone. In my opinion if it is meant to work out it will. For me getting pregnant at 18 and having 5 kids by the time I was 25 worked and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way :)

Crystal said...

I've been watching that show. I don't think there is a right or wrong time, but some times are more right than others. I know that when DH and I were way younger, we were just too immature. Even when I thought I was REALLY ready and started to TTC, he wasn't ready and looking back, I'm glad we didn't get pregnant back then. It's a tough call. I think having a baby makes you grow up a lot more no matter what age you are. Even if you are 40 and have your first, having a baby knocks you on your ass. LOL. I think that your reasoning is good though...get them grown while you are still young enough to really enjoy the rest of your life. That's what I'm looking forward too and we didn't have our first until we were nearly 30.

kbreints said...

There is no right age... it is whenever you are ready. I was 25 and my husband was 33 when we had our first. Niether of us would have been ready before then.

Rhonda said...

I have not watched the show, of course our TV is rarely on. I love the way we did it. Got married at 22, first kid at 27. In that 5 years I did my masters degree, we saved up for a house, and had a little fun. We met when I was 19. I have friends that had kids at 18 and are perfectly happy and have been great parents. Kids at 18 just was not for me, specially since I had not met the right guy yet!

Sara said...

I ALWAYS wanted to be a young mom. I actually remember HOPING I was pregnant a few times, when I was in my awful college relationship. YIKES.

My idea was like yours--have a whole bunch of kids and then be done by the time I was 30. Well, I'm 29 with 2, and didn't even get started on kids until I was 26. I have a feeling I'll be in my late 30s before we're done....but it was a good thing I was young when the boys came home...I don't know how I would have handled it!

Oh, and on the sex thing--that really made me laugh because of how many comments it inspired! :) I often wonder why God made men and women so very opposite in sexual needs and desires....

Sara

Mama Kalila said...

I haven't seen the show... am a bit curious though lol. I wanted to start a lot earlier than I did... but glad I didn't. Not because it would have been too early or me too young though just wouldn't have worked out lol. My husband is younger than me... I was 26, him 21. & we'd just met a couple years before... dated a year before getting engaged.

I think it def can be harder the younger you are... is hard anyway lol.. but it can be done. One of my cousisn had her first at 17 and made it. She's done a great job w/ her kids too. But won't recommend going that young to anyone.