Thursday, October 02, 2008

Putting It All Off

Sometimes I feel like such a crappy parent. The kids have a few health issues I have been putting off for quite some time. A few things NEED to be done but I just can't bring myself to do it to them or I just can't keep up with it all. 3 of the 4 kids have some sort of medical issue. Dave is always too busy at work so I am the only one to do it all. Dentist, Dr's I do it all.

Alex is having problems with her ears again. She can't hear again or I should say she can but it's all muffled. She failed every hearing test at school last year. First it was nice letters from the school then they became kind of like "hey you're neglecting your child!!" Surprisingly in the first week of school this year she passed. She came in the door with a huge smile announcing it and I did a happy dance. lol She has something called ear wax blockage so badly that I have to have it taken out by a Dr. If we don't keep on top of it she can lose her hearing because it actually hardens in and on the drum. One of my playgroup gals wants me to bring her to her husband's place of work (hearing aid store) so he can try flushing them for free before I take her to the Dr again.

We've always been running Dominic to the Ped, ENT, Allergist, pychologist just to figure out what was going on with him but for the past year his eye has been weird but it's gotten worse and he is obviously cross-eyed. We had an appointment for it but they had to cancel it. He will watch TV and then just start shaking his head no or rubbing his eyes and say madly "there's 2!!!" I feel awful but it's not all the time, only when he's focusing on something for a long while. I think why it's so obvious now is because his attention span has grown some even though he has ADHD. He can sit still and watch the computer or TV for awhile without fidgeting or running off every 5 minutes. His nightly snoring and peeing the bed without us waking him at 11 pm is getting to be overwhelming. I had to quit a few months ago because he was too much for me to lift being pregnant. He sleeps so sound that he has no idea when he even does it and the Dr's have told me it's because of his sleep apnea/snoring. They would like him to go to KC for a sleep study and eventually take out his tonsils and adnoids.

Damien's speech is just not getting better at all. I feel like it's a losing battle against Apraxia and his tongue thrust. Somedays I wonder if we should have started sign language a little sooner but then I think if we did, wouldn't that have possibly pushed his speech back if he was just using signs all the time?? I've started teaching him some Spanish words if he can't say it in English. For example he can say Blue (bwoo) he can't say Red it's "dis!" so I taught him Rojo which he can say perfectly. He's signing Milk, thank you, please, more, hungry, and eat. Dominic's speech was NOTHING compared to this mess. People think Damien is maybe turning 2 when they meet him. He is in the nursery at church while the other kids his age are in the preschool room. He has no way to express himself at school, he has no way of telling us anything without gesturing. This is extremely frustrating when he's crying hysterically.

Thankfully Mia seems to be doing really well. I'm starting to wonder about her speech but it could just be because I'm overly cautious due to the boys. She's trying to say words though which is something the boys never did until they were about 3. She also says probably about 20+ with no problem. I know that Early Intervention will probably push me to have her tested because of our history.

You know I think that if Dave could help with some of this junk I wouldn't feel so crappy but he lays it all on me. Does anyone else have this problem? Have you ever noticed that if your kid has an issue at school it's always brought to the mother's attention? Why's that? It's never "Hey Mr D. , your son is having a hard time seeing the smart board and needs an eye appointment." Atleast here it's always brought to my attention. If it's not a note, it's a phone call. I wonder if I just passed the phone off or replied back with a note saying "I let Dad know." what they would think. lol


Valarie said...

3 of my 4 have had (or still have) serious health issues and I am always the one that takes care of everything. Heaven forbid my husband take them to the doctor and actually have to answer questions about their medical history. He couldn't. He wouldn't know what to say. I guess that's just part of being "the mom." But, just know that you aren't the only one out there that is in that kind of situation. My daughter wears a brace and this last time she had to get a new one I put it off and put it off. I just coulnd't handle all the crap that came along with it. You just give yourself enough time to take abreath, then you pick yourself up off the floor and go back into "super mom" mode. You can do it.

Mama Kalila said...

Thanks, I needed a kick in the backside for complaining lately lol.
I'm greatful I don't have to deal with any of that... at least not yet. This last week w/ one baby sick has been rough, I hope by the time I have as many as you I can handle it better than I am now.

I can already agree w/ the husband laying this type of thing on us though. Jas tries, but I still get the brunt of parental issues.

Like she said though, take a breath & you'll be fine. I'll be praying for yall.

kbreints said...

For sure moms do it all... unless it is a single dad raising the child, it falls to the mother. That is just the way that it is. I work as much as my husband, but I am the one that does all the running with the kids, the staying home when they are sick and so forth. I can count on one hand the times he has tekn them to the doctor-- though neither of mine have serious problems...

One day at a time, one appointment at a time!

Jenn said...

I'm sorry that almost all of your kids are having health issues. I can't relate, but I feel for you.

I can relate to having to do it all (to some degree at least). It's always the woman's job and then when you have kids it seems like it becomes 10 times worse!

I'll be praying for you and the kids!