Today was my appointment. Fun fun! A friend from playgroup watched the 3 little ones for me so I could go. My husband bought me a Nintendo DS for Valentine's Day and the game Brain Age. It was so fun sitting there and playing games while waiting! I was so happy to have that thing today because I was there for 2.5 hours!! By the time I got home Camille was watching my whole herd. lol
To my Dr, I am a classic PPD case. We did blood work to see if my blood sugar or thyroid is out of whack. My grandpa is Diabetic and my mother, grandpa and uncle have Grave's Disease so I usually do blood work once a year anyways. It's always came out ok, we'll hope for the same this time around. He did tell me being pregnant back to back so many times can really mess with a woman. I guess your body can take a full year to fix the hormonal issues from a pregnancy and I'm usually pregnant before the last few kids even turned a year old. I told him some of the issues have lingered forever so maybe that's why?? I just have always figured being a mom it's normal to be tired, cranky, sore. The excessive crying out of the blue was really the only big thing that triggered me to think something else was going on. Being paranoid or fearing things usually puts me in tears as well. He really wants me to quit breastfeeding. Thinks it's doing more harm to me than good. I hate breastfeeding but I "need" to do it. I think I owe it to her to hang in there as long as possible. I've gained about 10 lbs the past few months and I've never had weight gain when breastfeeding either so if I quit I really worry about what might happen then.
So here's his plan. Exercise, date nights (lol), quit breastfeeding, counseling, and Prozac...seriously. He really thinks I'm stressed out and wants me to make time for myself and for Dave. I don't think people get it that it's HARD to do this. I have to go back in 2 weeks for a follow up. I don't think this is the best time for me to quit breastfeeding. I think that's just going to make matters worse because I can tell you from the past 4 experiences I get really upset when I have to quit. Even though I hate breastfeeding it will kill me to quit. So that's the plan.
My husband called when I first arrived. He told me just so I know he is not mad at me. I was a bit confused why he was telling me this but apparently last night he had a stuffy nose and got up quite a few times to the bathroom for medicine, Kleenex and every time he got up I would say "you aren't mad at me are you?" He said I kept saying it over and over and I have no knowledge of this. So not only am I paranoid while awake, now I'm even paranoid in my sleep. I'm just a big screwed up mess! lol