I don't really know about my husband but the thought process I've had the past couple days has been torture. It's difficult because like everyone else in the world we were hoping for another perfect pregnancy and in a blink of an eye this one turned into a nightmare. This sonogram was actually scheduled 3 weeks ago however our insurance did not have this perinatologist as in network so we had to wait until that went through. It was kind of a relief because I had 3 weeks LESS of worry. Good thing is because of the 3 week delay I only have about 83 days of pure hell
I think the biggest fear of all of this is she's not going to make it to 34 week because of this cord condition and then I'm going to go through this whole life threatening surgery with no baby to take home, that is if I make it through. lol The 2nd biggest fear right now is having the C-section and then seeing her for a brief minute only to be put to sleep for them to do their major work on me and not know if she's OK and if she really does have a defect of the heart, kidneys, or a fatal chromosome disorder. They are talking like I may be asleep for 2-3 hours. I am really having a hard time with thinking about that moment. It reminds me so much of Alex's birth when her heart rate dropped down to 70bpm and they're saying we're losing her. I'm talking, there's all this screaming going on about medical junk by tons of people in the room and then everything just fades to white. I wake up choking because of an air tube with a baby next to me who I had never seen in my life.
The past 3 days, I have been doing exactly what any mother would do but shouldn't. Reading Google, visiting boards of parents who have had these problems, some of it is helpful, some of it scares you to death. So far I have not found anyone who has a story of Percreta but those of Accreta and although they had frightening stories and lost tons of blood, they made it out alive. As far as SUA, I've heard both good and bad. I'm worried about the weeks between the sonos. She could lose all her fluid, stop thriving, die. In a way I wonder if we shouldn't do the Amnio just to prepare if she does have a problem and anything was wrong but right now I'm not willing to take chance. I just want to feel her kicks every second of the day to know she's ok in there.
Right now I'm just hoping the next 12 weeks go quickly so we can get this over with even though we are far from ready to bring another baby in this house. lol Sadly the pregnancy joy went out the window with this one, we just want out of it and to have a safe outcome for us both.