11 months old!

I think Rocco's first year has been the fastest in history! lol He is just starting to let go of the furniture and walk around. He claps before he lets go and starts. It's hilarious. He's finally waving hi/bye and LOVES playing peek a boo with whoever will. He loves to throw, we've had a few accidents of Mia or Sophia getting clocked with toys in the face or head. Like most little toddlers if you catch him doing something he shouldn't and say "No!" he'll shake his head no and keep on doing it. LOL! Love my little guy, he loves to cuddle and kiss and lay his head on your chest for the heck of it which is the best feeling ever. :)

Halloween 2010

The Raging Sea Right Infront of Me

I don't really know about my husband but the thought process I've had the past couple days has been torture. It's difficult because like everyone else in the world we were hoping for another perfect pregnancy and in a blink of an eye this one turned into a nightmare. This sonogram was actually scheduled 3 weeks ago however our insurance did not have this perinatologist as in network so we had to wait until that went through. It was kind of a relief because I had 3 weeks LESS of worry. Good thing is because of the 3 week delay I only have about 83 days of pure hell

I think the biggest fear of all of this is she's not going to make it to 34 week because of this cord condition and then I'm going to go through this whole life threatening surgery with no baby to take home, that is if I make it through. lol The 2nd biggest fear right now is having the C-section and then seeing her for a brief minute only to be put to sleep for them to do their major work on me and not know if she's OK and if she really does have a defect of the heart, kidneys, or a fatal chromosome disorder. They are talking like I may be asleep for 2-3 hours. I am really having a hard time with thinking about that moment. It reminds me so much of Alex's birth when her heart rate dropped down to 70bpm and they're saying we're losing her. I'm talking, there's all this screaming going on about medical junk by tons of people in the room and then everything just fades to white. I wake up choking because of an air tube with a baby next to me who I had never seen in my life.

The past 3 days, I have been doing exactly what any mother would do but shouldn't. Reading Google, visiting boards of parents who have had these problems, some of it is helpful, some of it scares you to death. So far I have not found anyone who has a story of Percreta but those of Accreta and although they had frightening stories and lost tons of blood, they made it out alive. As far as SUA, I've heard both good and bad. I'm worried about the weeks between the sonos. She could lose all her fluid, stop thriving, die. In a way I wonder if we shouldn't do the Amnio just to prepare if she does have a problem and anything was wrong but right now I'm not willing to take chance. I just want to feel her kicks every second of the day to know she's ok in there.

Right now I'm just hoping the next 12 weeks go quickly so we can get this over with even though we are far from ready to bring another baby in this house. lol Sadly the pregnancy joy went out the window with this one, we just want out of it and to have a safe outcome for us both.

The Big Sono you don't expect

We have a pretty large prayer request coming from our household. We finally got our sonogram done that was to tell us if my placenta had rose up out of the way so we could hopefully have a normal pregnancy like the rest and deliver here in our town. We both went in pretty positive that everything was fine but after about a unusually LONG 45 minute sonogram of the placenta, heart valve flow, kidneys, liver and umbilical cord over and over and over we found out that we are in for a scary ride of our lives on this one.

My placenta did not rise infact it dropped all the way over my cervix so I have Placenta Previa. My last prayer request was that this wouldn’t happen because they were worried about something called acreta where the placenta would attach to my old c-section scar. There’s 3 types of acreta. One is attached to the scar, one digs into the muscle of the uterus and the absolute worst is called percreta where it grows through and the placenta attaches to organs. Mine is the worst, percreta and all they can see right now is that it is attached to the bladder through the sono. They want to do an MRI to see how bad or where else it has grown and attached. They won’t even touch this condition and surgery at our hospital so we do have to deliver in Wichita. My delivery has been moved from around March 11 to around January 28 when I will be about 34 weeks in hopes that the earlier the better on the growth of the damage to my insides. The surgery is so complex they will have onocolgy Dr’s there since they deal with removing cancer and masses from the body. I’ll have an OBGYN helping with the surgery I have yet to meet and some other surgeons we’re supposed to be meeting as well. I'm supposed to prepare for a delivery with tons of people I've never met in the room. Hopefully with advanced planning everything will go well but they weren’t going to lie and I already know that people can and have died from this surgery. They told me to expect to lose about ½ my blood from extensive bleeding when doing the hysterectomy and other repairs all at the same time. Luckily the way it sounds is I will be awake for the removal of our baby and then they will quickly put me to sleep, take my husband out of the room and start on the rest. That's going to be hard because I will be asleep and have no idea how she's doing being born at 34 weeks.

It was pretty hard to digest this on Tuesday but I think it was nothing compared to the next blow since it wasn’t what we were there for. We are having a little girl and she has a SUA or single umbilical artery (2 vessel cord) which is a marker for Downs, Trisomy, heart problems, IUGR, kidney failure, and a bunch of other chromosomal problems. I pretty much lost it when hearing all this. There’s a 30-60% chance for a fetal abnormality. They asked me to do a Amnio to see what we could be facing and I refused. I also did not do quad blood screening at the beginning of the pregnancy either because we would never Abort anyways. So because of her only receiving half (instead of 2 cords) of oxygenated blood we are going to be doing growth sonos every 4 weeks to make sure she’s growing and thriving. For now she’s planned to come out at 34 weeks because of my problems. She’ll be moved straight into the NICU at the hospital. She could be there from 1-2 weeks depending how this all develops and she stays in until 34 weeks.

So that is my news we’ve been digesting the past 2 days. It’s extremely overwhelming and hard to believe all this is going on in there as I “feel” like this is a normal pregnancy in there. I feel her kicking away, I don’t feel like her kicks are any different or that the placenta is causing any pain on my scar or bladder. I feel pretty normal! I think the biggest worry for us both is me not pulling through the surgery. He HATES when I’ve had the c-sections in the past but this is so much more than just a c-section. He was really distraught and emotional when we left the clinic and he asked if I needed him at home, I’m pretty sure he just didn’t want to work the rest of the day! Lol

So there ya go. Massive prayer request, so many things that we need to go right. Lots of unknowns. We have not had a very good 2010 year at all. This baby sort of turned the year around for us and now everything is going wrong with this as well. Please just keep us in your thoughts and prayers!