Thursday, February 17, 2005

Career vs The Child

There comes a point where I just want to scream at some of the people I know dumping their kids in daycare. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against a few hours a day in daycare, that's no big deal, but when you leave your kid somewhere for 10 hours a day/5 days a week that's 2 full days of being at a daycare each week in your child's life!!

I have a mother tell me today that her child was wet when she went home with her yesterday and she was wearing a diaper that looked like the one she wore when she dropped her off in the morning so she didn't think I had changed her all day. I have generic diapers in the closet for this little girl but my mom watched the kids for me while I went to an appt yesterday and used an expensive diaper out of her diaper bag obviously like the one she came over in yesterday morning. I was pretty peeved and told her I left for a hour, changed her before I left then my mom said she had pooped and changed her again so then her mom showed up about 45 mins after that changing. It's moments like this where you just want to tell her if she cared that much then why doesn't she stay home with her kids instead of working??

I have nothing against working moms except for the ones that leave their kids in daycare all day. You can work opposite shifts, part-time, find relatives to help, there's all sorts of things you can do to prevent your child from sitting at someone's house all day. When we first had our daughter we worked opposite shifts for a year or so then had her in daycare 30 hours a week from the time she was 1-2 1/2 yrs old. When she was 2 1/2 I started staying home with her because I had my son and we decided I'd be a Stay at home mom. I can say now we made the biggest mistake working those first 2 yrs of her life. I feel like I missed out so much on her even though she only went to daycare at most 3 times a week for a 1 1/2 yrs. It was so neat experiencing ever little detail of our son's start to life then taking them to the park and zoo all the time, swimming, etc. I didn't get to do any of that until I became a SAHM. We'd do things on the weekends with Alex and that was it.

So back to the beginning of my day. I get kids torn out of bed each morning with dirty diapers, needing their clothes put on, needing their teeth brushed, and hungry and want to eat. It's like they don't even care to see how their precious cargo is doing before they rush them to my house so they can make a dash to their job. That would be the case with the same mother who also brought her other daughter over quickly last week and she puked on my couch. "Well I still have to go to work, I'll be back as soon as I can find a stand in" WTF? Your kid is screaming at you because she's sick and wants to go home and you're going to leave her here?? OK! I think this woman's career is more important than her kids at least that's how as I daycare provider I feel. Yesterday "well I'm off work but I'm going to go get grocceries then come get the kids." Jeez I'm thinking. I take my kids groccery shopping everytime! Wish I could do that!

Even as a Stay at home mom I still need adult time. I have several friends I talk to on the phone daily to keep me sane, I talk to gals on the computer, I go to Parent Meetings at the school. I also meet friends places to let our kids all play together which is a blast because we get to sit and blab while they are all occupied. I love being able to stay home with our kids and feel like now we get to do alot more than we could when I worked all week then was too tired at night to even play with my dd. I just gave her a bath and stuck her in bed by 8 even though I just got home at 5:30 with her.

I encourage people to look at their budget and see if you can figure ways for minimal daycare or stay at home period. It's pretty easy to do and figure what you can live off of. We hardly cut anything from our budget and still have the money to go out at least 2 times a week to Applebee's or whatever we feel like eating. I try not to splurge on dumb stuff we don't need.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day with this mother. I really don't need her sarcastic remarks about how I take care of her kids, especially since I have been a mother 2 yrs longer than her and have dealt with more than she has. She has her 2 1/2 yr old trained to sit on the couch all day and watch tv then she complains to me about how she can never get her interested in anything but Disney movies. Well if ya did something with the poor kid then maybe she wouldn't want to sit all day with a sippy cup! ERRGH! Major vent. I think I'm done now.


Adam's Mom said...

Shawn and I are trying to figure things out for when we have kids. I don't think that for one we could afford for me to be a SAHM and for two, I think I am a better person because I go to work.

Shawn and I both only work 4 days a week, and both sets of parents are retired so hopefully we can send our little ones to grandparents for a day. I guess we'll have to work out the details!

Take care - I hope tomorrow is better!

Anonymous said...

Here's some more silly daycare names!