Finally passed the halfway mark

20 Weeks!

Today I'm officially 21 weeks 2 days pregnant. The past few days I've been feeling this little guy kicking actually pretty hard so that makes me feel good. I still worry if I don't feel anything for a while though and run to my doppler to make sure I still hear that heartbeat. Dave's been actually trying to feel kicks which surprised me since with our other kids I had to yell at him that he needed to feel them kick. Maybe it's just because this baby is so important to us since it's following our miscarriage. We took 20 week pictures last week of me with my new shirt that announces GUESS WHAT'S COOKIN? Sorta comical since I've had a problem with yeast infections this pregnancy when Dave saw the shirt he said "BREAD!!" He sure thought that was funny but of course I don't! The halfway is a big milestone but now I'm looking at the next one. A viable baby. I will be so relieved when I get around 27-28 weeks. Dave was born around 26 weeks back in 1977 weighing only 2 lbs so I'm sure with all the advancements today ours would be fine too. I never thought about the death of a baby in the womb till this pregnancy. With our other 2 kids I was so naive and basically thought once your pregnant you don't have much to worry about until the baby is born then there's SIDS. Well after I miscarried and became pregnant again my thoughts of everything being fine in there totally changed. I constantly worry. I could be paying for my stuff at Walmart and be thinking that I haven't felt movement in awhile at the same time. I loved being pregnant before but this time I'd really just like to skip pregnancy and have the baby! lol

Saturday we had a birthday party to attend for our cousin. Actually he'd be a 2nd cousin because it's Dave's cousin's kiddo but she's a loser and gave him up at birth to his aunt. I couldn't even believe his biological mother didn't even attend his birthday party but her own sisters were there. It's a sad situation. The girl Cherlena, was 20 at the time and announced at about 33 weeks that she took a HPT and found out she was pregnant. The only reason she did this was because her sister Victoria bugged her too. Of course I was a few weeks ahead with our son and my husband and I along with her immediate family were blown away that she hid it that long. She had no prenatal care at all and ended up going into labor early and delivering Sal 2 weeks after I had Dominic. She tried to be mommy for a week then gave up and told her mom to adopt him. She moved out and has lived with many different guys, never keeps a job and never sees her son. Her sister Debby has been trying to get pregnant for years and I'm sure the whole ordeal was very hard on her and her husband Jeff. I feel awkward around Debby myself being pregnant again while she's struggling with her infertility. I don't talk about my pregnancy to her because I don't want her to become upset. She was very happy though at the party and very talkative which was nice. I don't even ask about her fertility issues because I don't know how she'd respond. Her mother is the one that tells me everything! Yikes! Hope she knows that!

Sunday was cleaning and laundry day at the house. The rest of the day we played this SIMS game we bought. I have a hard time playing it pregnant because it's so hilarious I keep peeing my pants. I don't fully understand the whole concept of what I'm doing but try to do my best. We've caught our house on fire twice now in the game and I'm too depressed to study or find a job in the paper. After playing the game, whatever actions Dave and I do in the house I start giggling because I feel like we are a SIMS family. We've caught our microwave on fire, caught a pan on fire on the stove, we are bad with impulse purchases, I have a hard time getting my child on the school bus, sometimes I never make time for myself and about pee my pants, I don't have flies telling me I need to clean but always have to clean daily, and I can fall asleep about anywhere in the house when I lose all my energy! Everything around my house is just like The Sims!