Friday, May 19, 2006

Breaking The News And Then Maybe Not

I've known of this pregnancy for 10 days now but have not felt pregnant at all. Alittle worrisome because of the past but I still believe things are cooking away in there. For reassurance I've been taking my temperature daily and making sure it's staying high. The miscarriage 2 years ago really warped happiness in the beginning of pregnancy for me. I don't feel like I can be completely sure that everything is ok till I really start throwing up, peeing all the time, and feeling kicks. I was paranoid the whole pregnancy with Damien, and this is why I bought a $175 baby doppler and listened to his heartrate all day, every day for as long as I could. The only real thing I have noticed is my increase in appetite which is something I have every pregnancy but maybe I'm just not eating much. Who knows.

I told two Moms that have girls in Alex's Daisy Scout Troop last night. Their basic reaction was "wow! Congrats! This wasn't planned I take it? You're brave 2/1 was enough for me. Well I guess you're a stay at home mom though." I totally expect alot of mixed feelings from people on having 4. I really don't see why anyone cares, it's not as if they are paying for our kids in any way. Another Mom friend who's daughter is friend's with Alex was quite taken back when I told her. Her first response was "congrats! That's great!" but then it changed to "you sure get pregnant easy, I wish I could have been like that. I had to use fertility drugs for Allison." I felt bad for her because she went on to say that her first born a boy was stillborn at 5 mths, then came Jayson and Allison. Now she's upset because her hubby has drawn the line and said no more so she was pretty bittersweet about it. Probably won't bring it up around her unless she asks. LOL The only others I've told are internet friends and friends who live out of the state that I've known forever and they won't be in contact probably ever with my parents which is the next dilemma. How long should I wait to tell them? Any ideas???

I know our parents will be happy overall but they will shocked and we'll hear a lot of doubt that this is a good idea. Again, not sure why. Is the norm of this world only to have 3 kids?? I figured I'd wait as long as possible till I started showing and have the kids tell the news. I don't think they could possibly act upset getting the news from 2 very happy grandkids. Ya think?


Jenn said...

That's nice that you're getting pleasant responses, even if the people are really thinking "holy crap, are you serious?"

I hate that this world seems to think that 2 is the normal amout of kids and 3 is alot. I know several people who have 4 or are TTC their 4th and I think it's wonderful. I personally would love to have 5 or 6 kids, so I know if I ever get to TTC #4, 5 and 6 that I'll be facing those kind of questions. I hope you're able to let the bad comments just roll off your back.

And good luck telling your parents. I have no advice for that one. I hope it goes well for you and I do think that maybe having the kids tell the news a little later would be a good idea.

Jess said...

It's funny that even though we are married adults our parent's opinion still really matters to us. I am the same way. I felt like I had to get my mother's approval to quit my job!

Your parents will be ecstatic Sabrina. You are a good mother and will handle four just fine!

nita said...

man. i'm always amazed at the insensitivity of people. when i was pregnant, at 39, people actually said to me, 'You'd better get working on that second one fast!'. man.

i say 'wahooooooo! yaaaaaaaaaaay! gooooooooooood for you!


Rhonda said...

AHHHH! My first comment got ate! :)

Anyway, I think that there is nothing wrong with having 4 kids, if that is what you want. I think that it is great that you pregnant again! You are a great mom and you can handle it! The people that bug me are the ones that keep having kids because they want a boy/girl. There are people we know that are aweful parents who have 3 girls and they are trying to get pregnant again so that they can have a boy this time. If they don't get one this time, I am sure that they will have another and another until they do. Yes, you are hoping to have a girl, and I really hope you do, but you did not get pregnant because you HAD to have another girl and I don't think if you have a boy you are going to keep getting pregnant until you do! If I am wrong, then tell me! :)

Your parents will be happy for you. They may be shocked. You and Dave were. They will be happy for you after the shock wears off just the same way that you are happy and excited now that you have gotten used to it.

I am so happy for you!

Adam's Mom said...

I think some people were meant to have four kids and can do it with ease. Look how well you manage your kids PLUS the daycare - I could never do it you are a saint! I love that you are going to have the kids tell them great idea!

Sabrina said...

Jenn- I think most of the people in my family will think we're nuts and say holy crap but they'll also be ok with it since D and I are in a stable relationship. There's others in our family (such as my cousin) who have several kids from different dad's and aren't married. For the most part the bad comments won't bother me.

Jess- My parent's opinion does still matter, you're right! If they are upset about something, I usually change it or do something about it. My dad once wanted us to change our stocks from Waddel and Reed to Edward Jones so we did!! I can't change being pregnant though so they'll have to deal! LOL

Nita- I can only imagine all the comments you had to hear when pregnant with Rio. They were probably worse than what I'll have to hear on having 4.

Rhonda- if this is a boy, I do want to try one more time. LMAO! I don't know but honestly the sex isn't that big of a deal to me. I'm not trying over and over for another girl. I love our kids and even though the boys will be more work, I love being their mom.

Sheri- I really do get stressed, I'm certainly not a saint! LOL I'm still debating when to have the kids tell. I thought it was a great idea too.