I can not let Damien cry.............ever, and it's really starting to piss Dave off. I felt AWFUL yesterday when I picked him and Dominic up from our old daycare provider (she lets me do a drop in with the kids when I need to) I walked in and heard him hysterically crying so I found him in the hallway bawling and as soon as I picked him up he put his head on my shoulder and stopped. I asked how long he'd been crying and she said the whole time I was gone which was a hour and a half. She tried everything and finally just put him down so he could cry it out. Dominic used to be the same way as a baby when I dropped him off anywhere but outgrew it probably around a 1.5 yrs when he was really mobile and wanted far away from me. The grandparents are even afraid to watch him because he cries the whole time at their houses too. I didn't mention this to Diann yesterday because I was afraid she'd tell me no if she knew of his past seperation anxiety.
But this is not the real problem, the real problem is naps and bedtime. When Damien was a baby, I could leave him in his crib and he'd drift off to sleep but for about 3-4 mths now I actually rock, cuddle, and hold him for about a hour at night till he finally drifts off and it's really making Dave mad. I try for about 5 minutes to get him to go to sleep by just putting him in bed and I keep peeking him in and placing him under his covers with a binkie but as soon as I walk out the door he sounds like he's a rabid monkey screaming and pulling the crap out of the rail of his crib. After a few minutes of that I pull him out of bed, stroke his head and rock him till he drifts off. For the most part I can put him in bed but there's times like last night where he just automatically woke up feeling me pull away from him and he started screaming again. Usually when I put him in bed he pulls my hand to the side of his face and holds it there with his two hands. It looks so sweet but then after standing over the crib, back killing me, I finally sneak my hand away after about 3 minutes and run like hell out of the bedroom. That is our nightly routine. First before scooping him out of bed though it consists of Dave bashing me telling me to let him cry, leave him alone, he'll be fine, yadda yadda.
Naptime is alittle different, not as bad but he does need me still to get to sleep. I'm on the computer at the time he naps. (1 nap usually around 1PM) I never just put him bed for his nap during the day. He'll come over to where I'm sitting in the kitchen on the computer and start rubbing his head on my leg which then I know he's tired so I'll pick him up and he falls asleep on me while I type and then I lay him in bed. There's no crying involved at naptime.
Dave is really tired of this because after I finally get him down, I want to clean the house some before bed. I'm not sure what else to do. We've fallen into a routine with this and I know Damien wouldn't be able to go to sleep any other way or he'll scream forever which I hate to let him do that. I know he's got some real seperation anxiety even at family functions I can be standing right there and he's giving me looks and pulling away from whoevers holding him for me to take him back. I'm hoping with time we can get over this stage but for now it's really putting stress on Dave and I's relationship since we fight over this nightly.