Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The One Bug That Should Be Totally Exterminated

Thank God I'm married to a bug man. I freakin hate bugs. Mosquitos, fleas, flies, locusts, wasps, spiders, roaches, beetles, they all suck but the one I can't stand the most, the absolute most are nasty June Bugs. They frighten the hell out of me and you'll hear my screams miles away when I come into contact with one.

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I've always had this phobia of them. First, they deliberately attack you. The things must not have eyes because you'll hear them buzz then they slam into ya and keep buzzing while they back up and slam into you again. If you turn on your patio light, they slam into the house and leave it on long enough, it sounds like you've got some microwave popcorn going from a zillion of them hitting the house over and over. Second, the fuckers have these hard little sticky legs and sometimes they'll land on you and buzz. They don't really crawl too far but when they do their legs seem to stick and poke at your body. Last thing I hate about them is how they fall on the ground and buzz trying to flip over and it's not just one usually, it's like 20 so you've got to walk over them and hope they don't flip over and come after you.

Thankfully I've warned my neighbors in the past of this phobia and if they hear any screams from our way, I've encountered a June Bug. Last night was one of those nights I'm sure someone was sitting outside enjoying the night wondering if they should be calling 911 though. We were out taking care of the dogs when Dave went in and left me out there and around our doorway (because the patio light was on) was about 20 June bugs flipping and smacking into the siding and ground. One went in my hair by my ear and I was about 15 feet from the back door. I started screaming, jumping around and then I see Dave at the bathroom window looking out. He was laughing, I was crying. I yelled at him to get out and spray them all so I could come in because I wasn't going to be able to go by the door without being attacked. He came out, sprayed a few sprays of pest killer, and we went in. He said he was sorry for laughing but he doesn't see why they scare me so much. Asshole. And it's not like he doesn't know this already. There was a time at Sonic Drive In where they probably thought he was knocking the crap out of me in the car with my screams and violent movements as one flew in the car and buzzed down my leg in the middle of me placing my order. I jumped out of the car and we got it off the floorboard. I do make an ass out of myself sometimes.

In closing, I just wish we could kill these annoying little fugly bugs. That's the last I have to say about that.

1 comment:

Tuesday Girl said...

I never heard of June bugs, but i really hate all bugs too.