Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Defeated

I came home from the YMCA crying last night. This is the longest story ever so I will shorten it. I think everyone who reads knows about Dom's issues. Well since Dom has started school this year he has went so downhill. We're at rock bottom right now. I worked so hard to get him into a normal preschool setting and out of Early Intervention and I don't think he was ready yet. He's going to Kindergarten next year and I just keep running through my mind how is this going to work? He is FAR from normal. What will happen next year when he's thrown in a class of 18 and they all act like normal 5 year olds and he's off running around, rolling on the floor, running from the teacher, hitting other kids, and screaming that things are itchy and too loud. What the hell is going to happen??!?!?!! If something changes he's going to go into a crying fit. If there's a substitute he's going to freak screaming in anger. If he doesn't get a blue chair he's going to go hysterical. All I've ever wanted was for him to be normal and do normal things. That's why I've put him in the sports and Awana. I want him to do normal things like normal kids do but everyone watches him for 5 minutes and you can tell through their fake smiles that they are disgusted by the way he acts.

So last night at the Y, Alex had her gymnastics class at 5 and then Dominic's is at 6. We walked in and one little girl says to her mom, "look mommy! It's that boy!!" Nice. Even 4 yr olds know he's different. Well he did great for about 5 minutes and then he started acting up during the stretches. I was observing up above so I told him to behave or he'd lose his behavior buck for the day. That lasted about 5 more minutes and then he was starting to rock and roll around on the floor. The parents start looking over at me and you know they are thinking what kind of kid are you raising. The girls kept trying to get him to cooperate which wasn't working (he started rolling around in the way of where they were trying to do somersaults) so I went into the room and told him to sit on his target and he was going to lose the buck for acting up. I then stood outside the door for a bit watching him then ventured to the bathroom. When I came out one of the instructors said he was under the trampoline and wouldn't come out. I told her I was just going to go ahead and take him home because he wasn't going to do as they asked and they had other kids to work with. So that's what I did. His 45 minute class only ended up being 20. I called home and told Dave that maybe we should rethink our next step. Hell I might as well just tell the truth and say I told him to call the Ped about him and ask about meds again. Dominic was unphased by what happened at all even when we told him he was losing a bunch of things. He came home, started jumping around making shooting noises and climbing around the floor on his hands and knees. So I don't know what's going to happen but Dave is really wanting to get him tested for allergies since that's the last possible step before going to the medication.

6 comments:

Colleen said...

Your description reminds me of SOO many trips out with Connor. I was sure that the moms in my old neighborhood were looking at Connor as "oh no here comes that boy who can't control himself". It is not fun. Just believe that it will not always be that way. I have a nephew who takes medication and it make a world of difference! Even my nephew will admit that life is better on the medication. Keep your chin up, you'll find a way of dealing with him.

Kbreints said...

It is always hard as a parent to 1-think that your child is different & 2- accept that they need outside help (medication) My brother seriously benefited from medication when he was younger and my father regreted being resistant to it for so long. I hope that you are able to find a solution soon!

Wendy said...

Screw people and their fake smiles! You and Dom are doing the best you know how. You're doing great. And I think modern medicine is wonderful. There are too many positive testimonies for it to be ineffective.

I love the idea of a behavior buck. Is it real money or made-up family money?

jude said...

I know its hard to hear this but let the other people think what they want. They do not know you, your family or the situation that you are in with Dom. Just know that we are here for you to lean on.
As long as you know that you are being the best mom you can and that you are doing your best for Dom that is all that matters. Hang in there girl there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise!!
((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Sabrina said...

Thanks girls! Well we had an allergist appointment today to test Dominic for all major foods and other items to see if he's having reactions to foods. NO FOODS!! I was shocked. This sucks!! Sad to say but I was secretly hoping they would say his ADHD was because he was allergic to milk or wheat and that would be the problem. We already took Red Dye 40 out long ago to see if that made a difference but it didn't. Today they found he is very allergic to cats, dustmites, mold, trees and grass. They gave me a list of things we need to do around our house very soon. I told Dave I know for a fact we have some mold in the windows so they might be getting replaced. Wait till I show some of the pics I took of his reactions!!! The appointment was horrible! I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy and Dominic and I both were crying! Basically they had me on the table with him bear hugging me and another gal behind me holding his legs because he was kicking like crazy and then a lady infront who injected the 50 or so pins. It was so hard hearing him scream "stop it!! quit hurting me!" He requested bandaids on ALL the pin sites which she put them in different sites so we could see the reactions. Anyways it was an ordeal that's for sure but they gave him some toys and I took him to McDonalds and that helped. If I would have known it was a 2.5 hr appointment I would have had someone watch Damien and Mia! Damien was wide eyed watching those sharp pins go into Dominic's back and worried hearing him scream like that. So because of these allergies, NOW we have to also start going every 2 months to this allergist woman. She gave me a referral for the ADHD/ODD/PDD/SID She said she'll be able to figure if Aspergers is part of the PDD's. Is this anymore confusing??!

She did say his tonsils are large so it's back to the ENT. I just have a hard time believing that the tonsils will make the behavior any better but they say in some cases it will. I am so worried about putting him through surgery if it's unnecesary. There's my update. Now I need a beer!! But I still have PT conferences, a brownie meeting, have to set up a brownie checking acct, and deliver some cookies to the 4H State Fair board meeting all left to do today! Ugh!

jude said...

Poor Dom!!! I hope he forgives you in the next millenium :)

Hang in there. I am sure they will find out what is going on soon enough. (((((((((((HUGS))))))))) girl your in my prayers.