I haven't talked to my mother since Saturday and still don't know if I'm ready to. Unfortunately we are too much the same and so we are both bull headed on certain things.
Friday night I called her to ask if she'd be able to watch our kids while we mowed the grass. She said yes so I told her we'd be doing it around 5 PM on Saturday. She called Saturday morning and told Dave that she would be out and about till 3 PM but would be able to do it after that. Well she called around 3 PM and said she had picked up my 5 yr old niece Madison and was going to Walmart to buy flowers. I didn't really think much of it and just said to be home by 5 so we could get started. She calls at 5 saying she was on her way home and I could bring our kids over. I was pissed because I told her we wanted to start at 5 so I asked her how she planned on planting these flowers while watching Dominic since all he wants to do is run around and she wouldn't be able to keep an eye on him while planting flowers. She said that she was going to have him help plant flowers. Right! A 2 yr old help plant flowers?? He'd throw dirt and tear the flowers apart, I know him well. I told her that wouldn't work because he's not going to do that and she said that if he ran off she'd smack his butt one for running off. After that remark I got major pissed. I told her if she would have told me she had these plans yesterday I would have never asked her to watch the kids. She got all mad and said "I've had plans to plant flowers for about a week now" and I told her "we'll thanks for telling me this yesterday!" This is all a bunch of bullshit because she told me earlier that Madison wanted $5 so she was going to have her plant flowers and this had just came about on Saturday morning. She could have waited to do that with Madison on Sunday. Finally I told her "you know what, forget it, I'll just call Dad because they have more fun at his house anyways" BIG PAUSE from her and I hung up. She tried calling back and I told her "get your fuckin priorities straight" and hung up on her. Not very nice of me to say but I was pissed.
Here's the thing. My kids have always been backseat to her. I don't know if it's because Dave and I make a decent living and she just feels sorry for my sister because he boyfriend cop is a loser and won't ever help her out plus she's always broke. It just seems because we do better in life that she doesn't need to help us at all. My dad on the other hand praises us, helps us when he can, loves watching the kids even complains that they don't visit enough. He is the preaching type though and will go on and on about what you need to do in life but I can handle it. My sister though can't because he speaks the truth. He tells her she needs to get married unstead of relying on huge tax refunds at the end of the year, tells her to save her money instead of blowing it on stupid crap, the normal "dad" concerns. She doesn't come around him usually unless it's a holiday because she hates how he gives her advice on everything.
My sister has always had it hard pretty much because she puts herself in dumb situations. All the guys that she's been with since Madison was born have been losers who can't make any money. She's with a cop who makes money BUT he has 2 kids a month apart in age from 2 different women! Nice huh!! She's lived with my mom with Madison until about 2 yrs ago when she finally was able to move out on her own. Now that Alex and Madison are 5 yrs old and getting abit smarter, Alex realizes that her Grandma has Madison over ALL THE TIME. How often does Alex go over?? Maybe once a month. Madison? About 10-12 depending how much my sister gets mom to take her OR how many times my mom just goes to her house out of the blue and picks her up. She's never picked up Alex out of the blue that I remember, and done something special just with Alex. Even MY Grandmother (mom's mom) is this way. She does things with Madison just never with Alex. My sister has them watching her kids when she goes to night school, has hair and nail appointments, goes to Walmart???, mows her grass, or even when her man is too lazy to watch them. The going to Walmart cracks me up. Here I am with a 2 yr old toddler boy who is so impatient and my 5 yr old going to Walmart, Dillons, Sams, etc and I don't need anyone to watch my kids! I do it by myself all the time! If Dave's had a hard day at work I take the kids and go so he can be alone.
I can't say that I feel bad for what I said to my mom because I don't. It's the truth. The kids do love going to Grandpa's and have more fun there and she should have told me friday night about these so called "plans". I asked her last week if she'd watch the kids tomorrow morning so I could take Dominic to the zoo for Alex's field trip but I've decided I'm just taking my son and the 3 day care kiddos too. I don't need her help. We'll see if she calls tonight, probably not but that's fine with me.
I think the worst part is that Alex knows what's going on. She heard me on the phone and was crying because she knew she wasn't going to grandma's and Madison was there. It breaks my heart seeing her sad like that and feeling left out. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry again.