A Bit Graphic Just So You Know.

My life is nothing but drama I swear and alot of it is my own fault. I guess I did get pregnant again right after Mia. I've kinda had thoughts about it but thought it was highly unlikely. The high temps for so long, unexplained cramping, and the brown sludge on and off again spotting I had for the past month all makes sense now. I tested at 6 1/2 weeks postpartum because my OB freaked me out at my postpartum check with her lecture and it was negative but haven't tested again till this morning and there was a light line. Now I'm 10 weeks postpartum. I quit breastfeeding right before Mia was 6 weeks.

I woke up to AF yesterday, no big deal but then started losing chunks of tissue and cramping with it. I told Dave but didn't think it was a miscarriage then. Mia slept with us all night so I never had to get up but around 6 AM she started fussing to eat. Dave heard her on the baby monitor and brought a bottle to our bed to give to me. I told him something wasn't right and I needed to go to the bathroom now and asked him to feed her. This is horrible sounding but basically when I got up I felt the pad I was wearing was completely full, kid's drenched diaper full and like I needed to hold it against me. When I got to the bathroom I pulled it down to find so much tissue had came out it fell out on the floor. I no more than sat on the toilet after that happened and another gush and more came out. I pretty much knew then. I cleaned up and then showed Dave some of the mess that fell on the floor since he saw me through my miscarriage 3 years ago. He left soon after, rubbed my leg and gave me a kiss before going. Got Alex up and ready for school. 7:10 waiting for Alex's bus I had another gush of chunky tissue but didn't want to leave her outside waiting by herself so I waited till the driver got here then went quickly to the bathroom. Lost more again in the toilet.

The worst part is, I feel sad and alittle upset about this but not traumatized like I was after my loss 3 yrs ago. I don't know if it's because of having the experience before or just that I knew I couldn't be pregnant right now so close after my last C-section. Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet. You could tell this one was alot earlier just by the size of everything. Most of it was about a inch wide by a quarter inch thick. With our angel, some pieces were about the size of a cup saucer.