Oh Crap!!

Seems I was a bit misinformed by my dh. We are having this lovely entertainment center delivered tomorrow. They called me this morning to make sure we were still on. I thought it CAME IN tomorrow, not that it was to be delivered. We paid $1500 for it and I really hate to make Ashley wait to deliver it. Why would they have to wait? Well I haven't been able to sell our big screen 60 inch!!!! I first priced it at $400 but then thought that was too steep since Dave's dad paid $1100 for this plasma we got for Christmas. So then I priced it at $200 and still no one wants it!!! A few people are saying the picture is off but it does not look that bad. It's a projection screen freakin idiots. You can't lay on the floor or watch from the side. You have to be infront of it. We are so screwed. I would keep the 60 inch in our basement except that it's sooo big it's not going to go down there. We'll get stuck on the 6th step. I've tried to get dh to put his new plasma in the basement and he says no way. I think he wants it in the living room for show. (MEN!) Every man I've had in my living room the past 5 years has drooled over it and now he wants this plasma to show off. If I can't sell it soon, my couch will be infont of it. That'll look lovely.

All I know is I need this box out of my room because there's no room to walk anywhere!! It's been there for 2 weeks too long. I have to push it out to the hallway to get laundry in the dresser or in the closet.

Answers on Damien

Developmental apraxia of speech (DAS). It was just more of an idea before that he may of had it but now after 6 + month of therapy they are giving this as his diagnosis. So what does this mean? Not much, except that I have a 2.5 yr old who's brain can't process words or speak them since his mouth won't work appropriately. He still has a horrible tongue thrust as well. He'll keep enduring intensive speech therapy, one on one hoping for more words or sounds. I'll be enrolling him soon (his IFSP to an IEP) for special services this summer and next school year since he's turning 3. He'll be going to the same Early Intervention school as Dominic and if possible I want Kristy as his teacher as well. Good thing is, he still looks like a baby so people don't really think much of him not talking. LOL! Bad thing is, Mia is now saying all the same sounds and few words that he is.

Here's alittle video of the two playing today at the train table. You can hear Mia trying to say "uh-oh" and Damien saying "dis" with the tongue thrust.

Dream Home

I really haven't had too much to post lately. We have went from that nice weather this weekend to 20's, crazy wind, and snow. This back and forth is just killing me!!! It was such a tease.

Anyways, I recieved our tax paper the other day from our mortgage company. Our payoff on this house is now $82K. I am always daydreaming of a bigger and better house. I constantly look at the Sunday houses that are open. Even though our plan fell through to move closer to D's work, we're ok here for now. I figure if we can sink a yearly tax return on this house plus our payments, we could pay it off in 10 years. We both want to build a dream home in the country so we graze the ads for land as we want to buy the land first and pay it off.

Right now we have a small ranch with a total of 2020 sq feet with 4 bedrooms, 1 bath, 2 living areas, 2 car garage and we have a big ol barn and 1.5 acres. This house was meant for a small family and I love it to death but we need something bigger especially if we're planning for 2 more kids.

If you could get the house of your dreams to accomodate your family, what would you add?

My list would be 3 baths, a bigger living room, a mud room, a seperate dining area, an extra car garage for kid toy storage, a big ol playroom, and a laundry shute!

What would be on your list?

Finally, Nice Weather.

We took full advantage of the 60+ degree temps this weekend. It was great to be out without coats, letting the kids ride their bikes and ride on's, enjoying the weather. I hope this trend continues. Echo loved all the excitement outside as well. Good thing there's a fence. :)

Good News

We found out that D's uncle has one more step to complete for citizenship and he will be an official American Citizen. This is awesome. He's already a legal alien with a Visa (has been here since his teen years) but with everything that has been going on about illegal aliens and how horrible people are to Mexicans, everyone he knows has been pushing him to hurry up and get his Naturalization done before the government changed anything. He visited his hometown in December to visit family and found it riddled with crime and drugs. He doesn't want to go back ever again. He was pretty upset about the whole visit which prompted his push to complete his citizenship.

Either this Dad has a Crush On Me, or I'm So Full of Myself.

I can only hope no one I know ever finds this blog. Perhaps I should go ahead and password protect it after writing something as bold as this. lol! But I find it weird that after our Brownie meeting last night, this guy calls my house at 8:30 to chit chat for 10 minutes about badge placement on the sash and other things. I had just told the parents how to place badges 1 hour before and even gave a diagram at the meeting and I chatted with him for 15 minutes at the meeting about it while the girls played Duck Duck Goose. D was sleeping on the couch, the kids were running all over the place since I was on my own getting them to bed, and here I am making small talk wrapping a phone cord around myself with Mia and Damien on my feet. He also called me from his own personal cell phone (not the number I had to reach them) Naw, I am sure I'm wrong. I think I'm just full of myself. lol

Ear Infections, Cavities, Braces....Oh My!

January seems to be going exceptionally well for us if you haven't been able to tell. The $750 that we put into our Flexible Spending Account this year will be gone in a few months time at this rate. Damien screamed on and off through the night and by this morning it's obvious he has another ear infection. His nose has been pouring snot so I'm sure fluid has just backed up again. I feel bad because I was just so tired and I didn't see the signs last night. He kept sleeping as high up on his pillow as he could so his head wasn't laying flat, the waking and crying out of the blue, and hands on ears. He's sleeping now and I gave him a shot of Motrin till his appointment.

Alexzandra had a dentist appointment yesterday. She had to wing it alone while I took the monsters in the waiting room. She looked upset at first but realized there was no room for us in the exam room and her brothers were being absolute terrors. I stupidly decided I wasn't going to take the double stroller and only took the umbrella stroller for Mia. BAD BAD IDEA. Damien kept running all over through a maze of hallways to exam rooms giggling and having a good ol time. I kept snatching him and putting him in the small corraled waiting room area where this small stairway is the only way out. He still would try slipping past me and run up and out all over the office. It was not fun. Then they have these lovely bead tables where the boys continued to fight over who got to string the beads around the little table. There were 2 tables but they both wanted the same one. It ended up getting out of control to a point where Damien tried pushing Dominic though a plate glass cabinet holding dental supplies and the boys were on top of each other beating each other up. I was so mad at them but all I could do was laugh (behind my hand) which was completely wrong. I was laughing because I just couldn't imagine what the other people around were thinking of my parenting skills. The receptionist (who used to be the receptionist at my OBGYN clinic) just laughed along with me because she's seen me though all the pregnancies, my loss after Dominic, my sonos, and she knows how badly I wanted kids. Finally after numerous failed time outs Alex and the hygienist came out to inform me she has a cavity in her 6 year molar (already?!?) she really needs the sealants done, and is going to definitely need braces and gave me referrals for a few orthodontists. They are SURE they give a free first visit consultation. Oh Lord, I am soooooooo not ready for this.

In other news, who would love to see a cute baby dance to Indescribable (Amazing God) by Chris Tomlin??

How High Schoolish: A Rant You May Want to Skip

I was talking to a mom friend of mine recently and found out something that is truly going to be bugging me and why I have no idea. I guess I'm just really pissed off!!! Here's the story. Carole and I have been friends since we met in the school gym both interested in being leaders for Girl Scouts three years ago. Since her friend was interested too I went ahead and backed down saying they could take on the troop since I had such a massive schedule anyways. Well they both backed out after 1st grade was over. Part of the reason was because our GS Council was demanding money from cookie sales and we "supposedly" had paid them. Carole and I found out that J actually embezzled all $4,000. Anyways then Mrs. BetterthanU and I stepped up to be the leaders. Mrs. BetterthanU has done NOTHING at all. She wanted to be the troop leader (I'd be the co-leader) but she's been to 1 training, no service meetings, no trainings on the sales, etc. I've done everything which is fine because I like being in control. lol Well Carole still helps me do everything while Mrs. BetterthanU sits and looks at Avon books I bring for all the gals. We don't know if she's mad because I've just sort of started doing everything since she's shown no interest in being a troop leader or if she's decided she just doesn't want to help.

We've got so much coming up with our Troop. This month we are doing a Mitten Drive collecting Mittens for a shelter. We are selling cookies and in February we are making cookies at my home and visiting a nursing home handing out cookies and cards for Valentine's Day for the residents. Then we are having a cookie booth sale. We're taking the girls to the indoor waterpark. I have organized all of this by the way.

So the high schoolish part? Her daughter had a birthday party recently and she invited everyone in their little "clique" but Alex. I asked Carole on the phone today, "did Nichole have a birthday party recently?" She responded, "I KNEW IT!! She didn't invite Alex did she?!?!" Nope no invitation in our mailbox and really I could care less but it just proves to me more about why I despise this woman. She's so Jekyll and Hyde. No one can figure out if she's serious or joking, she never smiles, she's so negative about everything. Anyways I'm sure NOW she's mad that I've just assumed the position as the troop leader but what do you do when someone says they are going to help and then they don't. Then they make no announcement on what their intentions really are!! Carole is about to explode on her about the troop as I am just like let's just leave her alone. So Nichole ended up having 11 girls over for a slumber party and all her friends were there and I guess they were all looking and asking each other where Alex was. I would never not invite Nichole to Alex's party in June as a payback. In fact it makes me want to invite her over or out skating just to piss her mom off even more. She can act like a victim to us all while her husband off to War in Iraq and she wished he was home and she could help out or that her 2 year old boy is just so bad that's why she has to beat on him in front of us but we all know the real Mrs. BetterthanU. Her little boy is no worse than either of mine and she has threatened her husband telling him he needs to provide, telling him not to get out as a Marine. Or as she says "there's only certain men that are born true Marines. Once a Marine always a Marine." Carole's husband, who was also a Marine but got out when his first child was born, would love to just slap her for thinking Marines getting out for their family are any less. lol So I'm not telling Alex a thing but I'm sure word will get out quickly to the other mom's now that Alex wasn't invited since Carole loves to talk. lol It just really peevs me though that she could just do it and think I'm not going to find out. I wouldn't have let Alex stay there anyways. That's how much I don't trust her. I don't know WHY I didn't just say from the beginning that I was going to be the troop leader since I was the one who contacted the council. That was stupid nice person in me I guess.

Slowly Getting Better

After one rocky week, things are slowly getting better. The vitamins I started giving last week must have helped because Dominic had a very short lived cold. Mia and Damien are still coughing their poor hearts out but at least they are pretty much back from the dead. The weekend with Damien was completely frightening. I must have said, "I'm taking him to the ER at least 10-12 times. Dave was totally against it because he didn't think they would do anything for him gagging and coughing up a storm. After reading up on Dr. Google, it appears that it wasn't the flu but just the RSV/Bronchilitis that Mia has. He just can't stand the wheezing and junk in his throat so he was constantly throwing up flim. It was so sad seeing him like that because each spell usually lasted 5-10 minutes. He learned quickly about running to the trash or toilet and did a great job trying! Breathing treatments are not easy to give to either of them. Mia hits and bats at the mask with her hands and Damien says "uh uh!!" and runs away. I can do it if they are sleeping though. If anyone has any tips on getting little ones to do it while awake (lol), please comment!!

Last week I had promised 2 former mom's I used to watch for that I would watch their kids since school was out. I spent most of the weekend cleaning and getting ready for it and yesterday at 7:30 both mom's showed up. It was nice! It shows me how much I really do miss doing daycare. There are days I wanted to pull my hair out in the past but it really is rewarding, especially watching them "grow" in your daycare. I watched them both till about 4 and my kids had a blast having them over. They played with play dough, drug out 100 coloring books, role played, tore up a bedroom, etc. They had a great time and their parents were so happy to hear my compliments of the day when picking them up. I also made $40 which was nice. I actually can contribute some money to our household. lol I told Dave that I've got one more Room Mom party to organize and then after that I'll see about picking up 2 kids to watch. I think he's excited just for the fact that right now we live off his paycheck and have to wait for a quarterly bonus which is hard. The most difficult part of the day was trying to jump online to place my Avon order. Of course the day I do daycare is the day 3 people have decent sized orders to enter online.

So this morning it's quiet. I'm enjoying a mug of cinnamon hot cocoa, Alexzandra and Dominic are at school and Mia and Damien are still asleep and it's 8 am. They have had such the week though, I believe they are just catching up on sleep they've missed and sleep they need to get better.

If You Would Like To Help.....

Alex is doing Jump Rope for Heart again this year. I signed her up online however the AHA says you can only donate a minimum donation of $25!!!! Yikes!!! So anyways if you would like to help you can make a SMALL check out to AHA and send it here and she will put it in her envelope. I think $1-5 is a great donation but $25 to me is alot!!!

Hello! I am jumping rope to help the American Heart Association fight heart disease and stroke in Jump Rope For Heart. Can you sponsor me by making a donation? The American Heart Association's online fundraising website has a minimum donation amount of $25.00. If you would like to just donate a few dollars though, you can make a check out to AHA and mail it to my home and I will turn it in when I jump in February. Thank You! Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support American Heart Association - Midwest Affiliate ******************************************************************************
Some email systems do not support the use of links and therefore this link may not appear to work. If so, copy and paste the following into your browser:
http://www.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=248841&u=248841-202624162

Adding One More To The Bunch

Mia
Damien
And Dominic came down with a low grade fever tonight saying "I not feel good mommy." I have the worst stuffed up nose, sneezing and my throat is killing me and I'm a bit tired but I have no time to feel sick.

Here's some interesting tidbits I found this weekend. Things I wish I would have known before hand so I could have tried some Lysol and bleach before this got too out of control around here.

Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) is a major cause of respiratory illness in young children. RSV causes infection of the lungs and breathing passages. In adults, it may only produce symptoms of a common cold, such as a stuffy or runny nose, sore throat, mild headache, cough, fever, and a general feeling of being ill. RSV infections often occur in epidemics that last from late fall through early spring. Respiratory illness caused by RSV — such as bronchiolitis or pneumonia — usually lasts about a week, but some cases may last several weeks. RSV is highly contagious, and can be spread through droplets containing the virus when a person coughs or sneezes. The virus can also live on surfaces such as countertops or doorknobs, and on hands and clothing. RSV can be easily spread when a person touches an object or surface contaminated with the virus. The infection can spread rapidly through schools and child-care centers. Infants often get it when older kids carry the virus home from school and pass it to them.

Good to know, eh? Dominic is just at the beginning of this but I told Dave if I have to I'll take Damien to the ER because his cough is so bad he's throwing up. His wheezing rattle is extremely loud (you can hear him across the room) and he's looking miserable. Day 7 for Mia and she's starting to come out of the dead stage. She actually played with some toys last night and danced to some music.

Alittle bit of RSV, alittle bit of Flu...It's Gonna Be A Great Weekend!

Well Monday was when Mia started really showing she was sick, went to the Doctor Tuesday morning, and we decided after being up all night again for the 4th night and her just looking like death this morning to take her back to the Dr. Her coughing has gotten worse, she's sneezing gobs of blood, she's wheezing and breathing real fast and not normal at all. This visit, different Dr again since ours is out, diagnosed her with RSV after they monitored her breathing with a stethoscope and the little bandaid around the toe machine. I automatically thought hospital after hearing this but he said since she's right at a year he thinks she can handle this at home for now. He wanted to give her a steroid shot which I said no way (she doesn't do so well with shots) so she's on a liquid steroid and every 4 hrs she's doing Albutorol breathing treatments to hopefully help her breath better and get rid of this cough. If she continues to get worse we are supposed to call them on the emergency line to discuss what we could do next.

We came home, I put her to bed so I could try cramming in some housework and then of course Damien has to puke all over me, the carpet and a blanket I tossed in the way so he'd miss the carpet. Ran him in the kitchen where he proceeded to fill the trashcan too. He puked the night before but we figured it was a fluke. So it looks like he's got some sort of crud as well. Now he's rolling around on the floor groaning. Great!

And Then There Was......Date Night

I can't speak enough about how great of a Pastor we have at our church. He is younger (37 I think) so his preaching is abit non traditional you could say compared to the past churches I've attended. Anyways he's doing a series called The Family Business and about Epesians 5:20 (brief passage) Wives, Submit to Your husbands as to the Lord.... Anyways he was explaining how this verse is not intended to sound as if women are a piece of property, etc it's more about respect and being honest. Click here for the MP3 of it. Somehow date night was thrown in there and ways to be romantic. My dear husband must have taken this all into careful consideration because the past two days have been we'll just say WEIRD. Sure we're romantic occasionally (lol)but getting lovey text messages is not something we normally do. Then Monday he was all sweet and touchy feely which was wasn't too strange I suppose, I just hate our kids eyeballing us when we are or trying to wedge between us. Then that night he decided it should be OUR date night so we got the kiddos to bed early and got in the hot tub for about 30-40 minutes. He gave this lovely awesome massage. I didn't even need the jets infact we never turned them on and just sat in the hot water in the quiet darkness of our country home looking up at all the steam and stars in the sky.

I will have to thank Pastor Andy for this lightbulb going off in Dave's head. This weekend he wants to have another Date night but away from the house! I think one night a week would be great, leaving the house even better. We'll see if it actually happens as it takes a very brave person to take on all 4 of our crew.

Sick Little Girl

The past 2 days around here have been nothing but Mia Mia Mia. It started Monday with a little bit of a cough. I called the Dr's office about something for her and they told me no of course because of the whole hoop-la of no meds for babies under two. GRR!! Monday night she woke twice in a hour groaning so I informed Dave it was going to be a LONG night with her. She ended up in our bed at 11 and sure enough we finally got to sleep around 4:30 and then both woke at 6:30 to get up since Alex has to get ready for school. The Ped office opens at 8 so I had my speed dial ready and kept hitting redial as soon as it hit 8 o'clock for an early appointment. I was able to get a 9 o'clock appointment so fed both babies and we were out the door.

Mia was acting fine at the Dr's office, infact I figured I was just blowing $20 on the copay but come to find out she does have bronchitis and an ear infection in her left ear. She could have fooled me the way she was crawling around playing with everything. Then we came home and she slept quite a bit because of the lack of sleep the night before but when she WAS awake, she clung to me like a little monkey. The house looked pretty bad as you can imagine. lol Last night she allowed us to have about 6 hours sleep but we constantly were up at her bed last night as she moaned. I greased her chest and feet with Vics vapor rub and tried to have her sleep elevated. I had sippy cups in the fridge to hand off to her through the night to soothe her throat.

Hopefully today will be a better day although I doubt. She's been up and down with me since 6 am groaning and now she's awake again. The past two days as soon as she's down for a nap, I'm running around cleaning frantically since her naps have been short and she wakes up crying. Poor kid. Be thinking of her.

Ain't No Child Gonna Be Left Behind in These Parts.

Alex started attending public school at 4 years old when I entered her into the free at-risk preschool offered at her school. I had thought about homeschooling in the past but with Dominic being so much more "work" I really didn't feel we could give her the attention she needed for school and I didn't know if I could handle doing it. After the first month I'd say, I knew we made the right decision. She was learning so much each day and it was amazing.

I'd say it was kindergarten when I started hearing from other parents and teachers about "no child left behind." When Alex started coming home and reading books I knew things were a bit different from when I was in school but learning to read at the beginning of the school year in Kindergarten? Then I was quickly introduced into the Accelerated Reader program that quizzed the 5 yr olds on books they were reading that alot of schools push to reach higher reading standards. I have been giving the tests to Alex's classmates for 3 yrs now and just stopped in October. Then one day Alex came home talking about the new salad bar and how they had to take at least one fresh veggie even if they don't eat it. I chat with her principal all the time so I asked him one day, "hey what's this new salad bar thing where the kids have to take at least one thing, even if they don't eat it." He told me it was part of the new standards of "No Child Left Behind" and they still follow the FDA guidelines but had to add a few more things to follow NCLB. Interesting eh? Also Kindergarten and 1st Grade they had snacks before leaving school in conjunction with NCLB standards.

So fast forward to 2nd Grade. Alex is a master at decoding phonics, learning simple multiplication, does reads at a 4th grade level, eating a variety of fresh veggies (if she wants to lol) and learning to write in cursive. Yes 7 years old and learning to write now in cursive. Now I know we want our kiddos to excel, I get the NCLB act, but isn't this going a bit fast for these little ones? I must have been a 5th grader before I learned anything about cursive.

I didn't even mention either that the past two years she's brought home some sort of homework everyday. Is this a bit much to you? Are they going to start Sex Ed for us next year? lol

In God's Time

I don't believe I have any male readers at the moment to gross out and I am a 100% honest on here so I will admit that yesterday when lovely Aunt Flo struck, I was absolutely crushed. Not only has my baby turned one, I'm also not pregnant. I haven't really mentioned anything about this on here because of the vulnerability of getting bashed for wanting a larger family. We already hear enough of "when are you getting fixed" from people we know thinking they know we should be done. We have decided on a not trying/not preventing approach which is actually me trying and him telling me leave him alone and let it just happen. lol

This last cycle was picture perfect. What I mean by picture perfect is my NFP (natural family planning) chart. I've been doing NFP and taking temps since Alexzandra was about 18 months. This chart was looking so pregnant. I had a huge implant looking dip and my temps stayed high till Aunt Flo struck. I wasted 3 preggo tests and Dave was so tired of hearing about me obsessing on it all. Poor poor guy. I talked about every temp and every test all the way until my period arrived. lol Anyways the past 4 cycles you could say we've "tried" and it's not happening which for me is nothing new. I've never been one to get pregnant the first try. I was really hoping this was going to be a huge late Christmas gift but sadly it didn't happen.

So we keep plugging away I suppose. I believe I finally have D on board for 2 more. He said from the beginning after Mia's birth he wasn't ready to do anything permanent and although he thinks I'm completely nuts wanting more, he respects that I just do not feel "done." He loves me that much. :) I just can't help that I'm sad month after month everytime she arrives. The kids asking for another baby breaks my heart too. I want so much to be pregnant once again and to bring another life that's part of us into this world. We just have to wait and see if what happens. I have faith that if it's in God's will, we'll be blessed once again.

The Family Closet Idea Sounds More Appealing After Each Load

I think hanging everything and matching socks sucks but putting everything up sucks so much more. Did I mention my laundry is in the basement? I guess I SHOULD be thankful for the exercise.

The Absolute Breaking Point

I witnessed something last night that not only shocked me but pulled on my heart so much that it's all I've been thinking about since it happened. Dave was running late as usual on Wednesday since it's his day to lock up the office. He arrived just in time to help me get coats on and load the little ones up in the van so we could head to church. The kids haven't been to Awana since before Christmas so they were all excited. We arrived a few minutes late so I asked Dave to get Alex and Dominic to their classes and I'd get the other two to the nursery. As Dave is walking off with the kids we hear all this screaming and at first I thought it was just some kids being loud and acting up walking with their parents to the car. Dave is slowing down when he sees them but gets in the door with the kids. Still standing with the kids in the van, I noticed it was our Children's Church Director and husband along with a dad hauling two boys out to their vehicle. One kiddo was up and over dad's shoulder and the other was being held by the arms and walked forward by the guy from our church.

I admit I'm a gawker, I was looking for Mia a binkie but couldn't help myself to feel awful for these two boys. They were screaming and crying, "I don't want to go home! I don't want to go home!!" The dad is screaming, "do we need to call the police!??! Buckle up!!! We're going home!!" The poor boys continue begging and screaming "please I don't want to go home!!! I don't want to go!" Seriously these kids sounded as if they were being tortured with cattle prod in the vehicle trying to claw their way out and nothing was going on except they were being told they had to leave.

Finally something I've never in my life experienced happened. This poor man broke down right there to the guy from our church. I heard him scream and cry "I can't take it anymore!!! You see what you guys do!?!?!?! I take you some place fun and you ruin it!!!" He wept like his wife had just died. It was the most heart wrenching thing I'd ever seen. He begged for them to stop, to be quiet, and for them to act normal! That's all he wanted! It was none of my business but I wanted to run over and help the guy with these boys. I've dealt with all sorts of kids in daycare and with my own and I wanted to see if I could calm them down but I had two babies with me. I continued standing there dumbfounded listening to this poor man.

"I just can't do this. Oh God I can't take this anymore!!!! Please help me, please help me!!! Oh God Please help me!!" I have never been around a man who cried like that and begged for help 10-15 times in a row. I was heart sick and in tears by the time I got inside. I'm not sure what happened after I went in the door. The Children's church director was getting ready to go back outside and she quietly asked, "are they still out there?" I responded yes and that I felt horrible and I want to just run off and cry myself. She was obviously shaken by the whole ordeal too. From what I gathered from her is that they never mind her at Awana and if they can't listen or respect anyone then there's no reason to be there and that's how it should be. We're there trying to teach God's Word and not to be run over by kids who could care less. I really feel that Awana to some parents is a babysitting service and you can just tell some just don't want to be there with the way they act.

I have so much sympathy for that man last night. His boys were probably I'm guessing 4 and 6. I'm not sure if there is a mom or if it's just a dad raising them but the dad needs help. Sending him on his way so upset probably wasn't the best thing and I pray that the boys screaming that they didn't want to go home was not because Dad might beat on them. That really had me worried especially with how overcome with the emotion the dad was. I just thought of how much stress those two boys must be putting on him for him just to breakdown like that. How hard and challenging these kids must be for him.

Parenting is stressful and challenging. I think a lot of people think I have everything so under control here. Although I've never broke down quite like this guy (at least not yet lol) I will say that I've been to points where I feel trapped and I just don't think I can go on. I think it can't get any worse than what it is, but then it does, and what do you do? You keep chugging on. The past few years dealing with our boys and all the different terms, conditions, and behaviors has really put me through a wringer. Somehow though we all deal as parents in different ways through therapy, deep breathing, or making time for ourselves. There's always somewhere to turn. I just hope that this man,whoever he was, has somewhere to go for help. I'm not sure what happened after I went inside if they offered to help him spiritually but he definitely needs someone right now. I really hope they offered him this calming verse which I think every parent should have memorized. lol "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls."

One Year Of Mia

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

"I Squeeze Cow Milk?"

I was motioned to come out to the bus today. Usually as long as I'm at the door, he goes or comes off without me going out to him. So out I went to grab him and find out what they could possibly have to tell me now. Jennifer (teacher's assistant) came from the bus and said that Dominic had a bad day since the teacher was gone which is normal but then she said that he was making "references" about boobs again. She then says sternly, "Dominic, you tell your mommy what you told me earlier that you wanted to tell Mrs Kreibeil. Dominic looked at me and said, "Mommy, I squeeze cow milk?" Oh geez. I smiled and said, "not right now Dominic." Obviously after grabbing their boobs and acting like he was milking them at school, the teachers now think he wants to milk their boobs. I told her that Daddy talked to him the other day and said that we would take him the zoo in town and let him milk the fake cow there if he wanted to "milk a cow." He made sure to inform him that's not polite to touch women's breasts.

She said "oh ok. I was a bit worried but that sounds believable I guess." I'm really freaking out that they may think other things are going on here in our house. He know milk comes from the breast of women. Why he's was trying to milk his teachers I have no idea but nothing around here should have promoted that. I breastfed Mia when he was 4, he's not stupid and just going to forget it. He saw me breastfeed Damien when he was 2 years old. He KNOWS where milk comes from but what he was referring to today was going to the zoo to milk the fake cow since Daddy said he'd take him. I told Dave that next time he needs to just tell him he's taking him to the zoo, not we'll go milk the cow, because Dominic words everything all weird and we're going to end up with CPS on our doorsteps. His teacher was not thrilled by him asking repeatedly today that he wanted to squeeze cow milk.

Tisk Tisk

We went to Walmart on Sunday evening for a few things. The trip itself I was trying to make short because the kids had school yesterday and I didn't want to rush when we got home. Dominic was really whiney because OF COURSE he wanted to venture to the toy department and Damien did not want to sit and be buckled. Most people can't leave Walmart in under 30 minutes but we accomplished that. I was DONE.

We got in the parking lot and it was getting a bit chilly but we parked the two baskets behind the van and I lifted the van hatch to stick our stuff in real fast. D says, "here don't do that, put Mia in." So I grabbed her to put her in her carseat and about a minute later I turn around to see Damien patiently sitting in his basket looking at Dady and Dave about 50-60 feet away returning Mia's basket. I was livid!!!! So mad I was shaking. Imagine a car parked and then a basket backed up to around the bumper of the car sticking out in traffic. I ran back there and went off as he was running back to the van.

Me: "What in the heck are you doing?!?!? You know how people drive on this side of the lot?!? You seriously put back a basket before worrying about Damien in the cart??!?! OMG!!!!"

Who knows what the woman next to us getting in her car thought but I was so mad!!! Ithink she was a bit stunned by my sarcasm to Dave.

D: "well how is this not your fault?? You're blaming me but this all on me but it's your fault too! You could have came back and grabbed him."

Me: "Reeeeallly?!?! So what did you want me to do? Read your freakin' mind and just drop Mia in her seat unbuckled so she could jump out of the van and run back and grab him. Jesus you ass!!!"

D: "You know what, whatever. Just get in the car. I'm sure you've never done anything to put one of the kids in harms way."

Me: Enraged by that comment, "Seriously, was I to know you were going to just zoom off and leave him to return a cart because from what I gathered you gave me Mia and were staying with him and putting the stuff up. People drive like idiots over here Dave, you've seen it, and you don't just leave a kid alone in a basket like that. Ugh! You're such a moron and you piss me off!!!!"

D: "whatever just go."

It was a long quiet drive to the Newspaper Recycle bin but by time we got there we had started small talking again. lol I take the kids out all the time alone and I would NEVER just leave one kid out and put the other up. I normally only have the kids in one basket and would pull up to the door of my minivan and put Damien in first so he could hop into his car seat while I buckled Mia then buckled him. Dominic and Alex jump in by themselves and buckle and I make sure they did it right before we leave. Even when we get somewhere I park next to a basket corral so I can get the kids in the basket and then Dominic and Alex are allowed out.

I know I'm overprotective of the kids, I can't see any Mom who isn't unless they just don't care. I went a bit psycho on Dave that evening but I think he knew that he shouldn't have just left the poor kid there. Who knows what he was thinking. Really though I am so deathly afraid of losing one of our kids and it being my fault. I just can't imagine. When I did this I cried for nearly a day I was so upset at myself for being so stupid. That was a wake up call. I am sad about going ballistic on him but these kids are my life. If anything happened to any of them I really don't know what would happen to me. It's my job to protect them and for him to protect them when I'm not around. There are reasons that I don't let people drive them anywhere or let them stay overnight at a friend's house. There are reasons they probably won't ever ride certain amusement park rides. lol We've made up but next trip somewhere I can imagine Dave will be watching what he does and probably looking for a fault of mine. I can really see him doing that. lol

I'm Canceling.

On Saturday we slept in, as a family, till 10 am! Holy freakin' cow! I woke up blinded by light and rolled over to see the time and then pushed Dave in the arm. "OMG look what time it is! We got to sleep in!" When was the last time I've slept till 10am? Probably about 4 years ago. Never have I ever slept past 8:30 at the latest. So I hopped up, threw on my robe, and got the kids going on breakfast. Afer getting them taken care of I sat down and played online on the laptop. As the kids finished eating, around 10:30 the doorbell rang. Dave by this time was in the shower and I'm still in my robe. I tell Dominic "DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR!! I've got to go find some clothes!!" So I ran to the basement and couldn't find anything readily available in the dirty clothes pile and nothing is clean in my size atleast so I head back upstairs with Alex and tell her to go see who it is thinking its probably just my family.

We come up the stair and this man is standing in my kitchen and Dominic is standing next to him happily announcing, "it's the Schwan's Man Mommy!" I about fell over. Not only had he let this man in the house, I'm standing here in a terry cloth robe with nothing hardly on underneath and my hair everywhere. I was completely embarrassed and I think he was too. So he first thing he says, "hee hee, Sorry your son said I could come in??" I replied smiling, "uh no he's not supposed to open the door but I don't need to order! Sorry!" I'm thinking he'll quickly be out the door as awkward as this is but NOPE! He starts explaining he missed me last time due to our blowing snow blizzard two weeks ago and then gives me the run down on the special. I told him "no thanks" in which he responded "ok well I'll be back in two weeks" and gave me a sticker for my calendar.

Um, yeah no thanks dude. I'm calling your corp and canceling because #1 I don't think I can face you again. And #2 you don't just listen to a 4 year old child saying "come in!" and help yourself in the door without repeatedly asking for them to go get their parents. Not cool at all. Am I overreacting for canceling? My husband (being in the service profession) told me that although he's walked in on 2 naked ladies (they weren't supposed to be home)he doesn't remember what they looked like. I was at least covered by my robe. Dave though can remember where they live and one of his accidental walk ins was about 9 years ago. That to me is frightening. After he was gone we took about thirty minutes on the couch giving a refresher course with the Alexzandra, Dominic, and Damien explaining why we don't open the door to strangers and always get mommy or daddy.

Kansas 24, Virginia Tech 21

Wow! What a game last night. After Dominic's program we rushed home to see the game. It was pretty close and I wondered if KU was going to win....but they did! It was so neat watching them at the ESPN sports desk screaming into the camera! I almost cried. I am wayyy to emotional right now! lol

Anyways, last night we watched the game on our 60 inch Projection TV we've had for about 7 years.

By the time the Superbowl is here, we'll have our new 50 inch HD flat screen Dave's parents bought us for Christmas, it's paid for, we just have to find time to pick it up. Best Buy said they'd deliver it for $150 but we're going to try getting it in my minivan. I'm still shocked his parents spent that much money on us for Christmas. I can't be too shocked though because they also gave us the down payment for our first home. I can't wait till we get it home but first we have to sell our big screen and find a nice entertainment center.

The "TALK"

Last night was fairly busy for us. Every so often we'll have more than one activity going on in a night and last night was one of them. I had a Brownie Meeting where I taught the girls about Girl Scout Cookies and that we were going to be selling them. Then after that I rushed over to the school meeting Dave and helping him in with the kids for Dominic's rescheduled Christmas program. The program was really cute. They sung 7 songs for us and we had cookies and kool-aid afterwards.

After the program I was standing there with the little ones in the double stroller while Dave was getting more cookies. I talked to 3 mom's I knew and then Dominic's teacher saw me and said "oh! I was hoping I got to talk to you!" I'm thinking "oh great what'd he do now!" just fake smiling at her. She says, "we've been having some problems lately with Dominic in which we tried to just ignore but it's happening a bit more frequently." By this point I'm thinking she's going to lay on some new condition they think he may be dealing with and tell me we need to get him some more help. I respond with "ok." She says "oh boy this is hard to just even say! Well Dominic has been grabbing Carla, Jennifer and my breasts and it seems to be getting worse. Now he's making sort of squirting milking sounds as he's doing it. We thought at first it was rather cute but now he's doing it often, well everyday, and even sneaking his hand under the table to grab our breasts." I'm standing there with my mouth about to the floor and say "I am sooooo sorry and I will make sure we talk to him about that as soon as we get home." She responds, "that's fine, I just thought we should let you know what's going on. Do you know why he's doing this? Especially the milking sounds which just seemed to start lately with grabbing." I told her that the boys once seeing my breastfeed and pumping so much with their younger siblings have been a little more fascinated with boobs. That's the only excuse I could pull out of my butt to tell her. After I fed Mia the boys knew I would pump and would helpfully hand me the nozzle for my double pump because they knew what was next. They would always come touch while I fed Mia or make milking noises watching the pump and they loved watching the milk flow into the cups when I did pump. It was the highlight of their small day! lol Well I waited till we came home to tell Dave about it. Dominic and Alex went in and we were unloading Mia and Damien. I said "Lynnie told me that Dominic has been grabbing their boobs and now he's making milking noises." He just got this huge smile on his face and you could tell he was thinking "that's my boy!" but instead said "reeeeeaally??!"

So last night Daddy took Dom into the front room and had a "private" talk to him. He told them it's not nice to grab there and he should try not to do that. It was OK to touch in other ways like hugging but being sneaky to grab a boob was not appropriate. We'll see if there is any change next week. Hopefully it didn't go in one ear and out the other.

OCD.... Has Found Me

I think I may have a problem. Ever since the whole Head Lice fiasco, I can not stop looking at my own scalp or the kids. I spend at least a 1-1.5 hrs throughout the whole day trying to see if I see any bugs or nits. I've done something each week to hoard them off if I did have any. RID twice, alcohol and mouthwash the next, then I dyed my hair a week after that, now this week I still feel like I need to do something else. I might dye my hair again since I bought 2. I plan to buy tree tea oil and put a bunch of drops in my shampoo so we can use that as a daily preventative.

This morning my daughter told me that the teacher said to put their coats back on the rack so she stuck her coat in her bag and then on the rack. She does NOT want to go through it all over. She had enough the first and hopefully last time. Then today when I picked up my son from school because I had a meeting to get to, they had all the kids coats in a pile at lunch because after they eat they get their coats on and get on the bus. I about killed over. I felt heavy chested, completely panicked, and snatched it off the pile as soon as I saw they had a pile in the corner.

Anyways, I'm not sure what to do about the whole helpless feeling that we all have headlice and it's still around. Everytime I itch my head I run to the mirror for 15-20 minutes. I am so screwed up from this whole thing. I keep thinking "oh tomorrow I won't feel bug contaminated" but then I feel an itch and run to the bathroom. I feel like no one is itching their head but me but then if I see someone itch....I run over and start searching their head. I need help.

Debating Again.....

Well now that it's January, I've been trying to get back into the swing of everything. I've been wracking my brain about what to do on my daycare. I know I need to probably get back into it. We're doing ok but we could be doing a lot better if we weren't using all his check for everthing. Mainly what's holding me back is my kids. If you've ever been in daycare, you know that your kids really don't seem to come first. It is demanding and you have to have the right mindset for it. So anyways, I came to an idea to start out as a Drop In only Provider from 7-5pm. It sounds silly doesn't it? As long as my child to adult ratio is met, then there isn't a problem doing so. I would charge hourly and need atleast 1/2 a day notice. I think this will still allow me to be flexible to get the things I need to do with my kids done. If I have something going on I can just say I can't do it. If I do this I may do a trial run first. If there is a demand then I will probably hop back on the CACFP and except payment from SRS for needy parents. We'll see.

For the time being I am still plugging away at Avon. If you like Avon, visit my site! If you're in the states, shipping should still be $3 and it's quick and from the factory. You can email me directly on the page and look at the current brochure by clicking the brochure in the middle.

I hope to figure out soon about doing daycare again. Avon isn't going to make me a millionaire. Well either will daycare. lol I had the girls I used to watch yesterday and it was bittersweet. I miss it yet but I was happy when the day ended! lol I think drop in would be great if it worked out for me. Less demanding.

Happy New Year!

Well I hope everyone had a great New Years Eve! The past few days I had planned to surprise Dave at work with the kids and take him out for dinner and figured New Years would be appropriate. When the kids were sitting at the table for breakfast I told them that we were going to go to Daddy's work! The boys were giddy, clapping their hands and smiling behind their hands on their mouths. Alex however was not happy because it takes 45 + minutes to get to where Daddy is. So we packed up at 3:00 and drove to Wichita to surprise him with Alex rolling her eyes and obviously not happy with my decision. lol


When we got over by his office I started texting him and trying to hint that I was down the street. We were waiting for this train in the area so I wasn't texting and driving just so ya know! He didn't have a clue. Then after the train finally ended I sent a message in the parking lot to come outside and see us. Now this is my 3rd time of being there in the 5 years he's worked for the company. It's just kinda out of the way and I always have the kids so I just have never tried it. He's always complaining about how I've never met anyone in the office and they all want to meet me so he drug them all outside in the freezing cold to say hi. LOL! After that we tried to go out to eat at 5:30 which is not a good idea with kids on New Years Eve! Everywhere was packed. Chili's told us 1-1.5 hrs! On the Border said 45 minutes and we waited a complete 45 minutes before being seated. It was soooo good though and our server even brought Mia a sundae which you can imagine she was all for that! We finally got out of that madhouse at 7:45 which by then was too late to take the bunch shopping like I had wanted so we came back home. So we came home, put the kids to bed and watched Dick Clark and MTV for the rest of the evening. No alcohol was consumed. Oh how life has changed over the years! lol Next year though, I've told dh we HAVE to go to Manhattan and watch the ball drop. Manhattan, KS that is.