Can You Believe This???

Baby at 20 Weeks and 3 days

Well the sono went well yesterday and we're having a GIRL!!!! Oh My! I had told the sono tech (I've known her forever) that I wanted to guess first since I'm getting pretty good at this. lol Looked, gasped and said "no way, it's a girl!" She said "yep!" I've still had a hard time believing there's anything in there because I just don't feel much. Just something maybe 5 times a day. I think Dave and I are both shocked because I haven't been sick or anything so I was so sure it was a boy. But instead I'll get another one of these! Alexzandra at about 4 weeks old

Alex was born with a huge amount of hair as you can tell so I would imagine the same for this little girl. I have to go through the baby clothes and see what we have going on there. Since Alex was our first, and totally spoiled by grandparents, she had so many clothes and we didn't really understand about spit up stains and such so she's got some pretty yellow things that I need to toss. Dominic on the other hand, I had wised up and bought only dark clothes so nothing was ruined.

In other news, yesterday Dave took the kids in for their lead screenings. He said it actually went rather well. Alex went first and told Dominic she was a big girl and not going to cry and she didn't! Dominic watched them take her blood from her arm and then jumped right up to the chair for his turn and threw his arm across the padded board. Dave said his eyes were just glued to watching the needle go in and the vile filling with blood. Fine and dandy till she tried wrapping his arm with a cotton ball and Coban (sp?) THEN he started to freak. He just wanted a bandaid though. Damien freaked the whole time and the kids said he just screamed and screamed while they put that tube in his arm. We'll find out in a week what Damien's level reads this time and if the other two played with the toys enough that they have it in their system too.

I did talk to the Asst Director at the library Tuesday at about 3 PM. She called and was just so oblivious to what harm could POSSIBLY be done by sucking on some toys with lead in them. You could tell she was old, she could care less honestly. That's the impression I got but she asked me to "please keep them posted." As for Dave, he called a local news station and they went to the library after I spoke to her questioning her about the toys and if she knew about Damien. We asked them not to list our names but rather get the animals on the news so people could see that they were dangerous. They are saying that Damien could be the first case of lead poisioning from the toys. He's had the 4 of them since June 9th. BUT according to the library lady "we were told by the company a child would have to eat 25 toys to have any affect or get sick." referring to the recall letter they received. Thankfully we have lived here the past 5 years and the other 2 kids at 1 year old had perfectly fine lead screenings, no concerns at all SO the health department when they get ahold of me next week will know that it's not the house. I talked to them Wednesday, gave them the msnbc website with the pictures and they couldn't believe they hadn't heard of this yet or that our stupid library hadn't called them. I told them the libarary had no intentions on putting anything in the paper for parents of kids with the toys to notice it. They said they did their part by putting up fliers in the library. Whatever. So now we wait for 6-7 days till the results come back.

When I was at my Dr I didn't say anything about the lead because I'm going to see what the kids screenings show first. I did however ask her about this rash I've developed the past few days and the painful vericose veins. On the veins she says again to buy the support hose and supposedly the pain will go away while wearing them. On the rash, she says it's not pregnancy related. I can't think of anything new I've been into or bought lately. I've got it on both arms, both boobs, my right side of my neck and shoulder and my right cheek is so red and swollen it looks bad unless I put on tons of makeup. I feel like I have paralaysis when I talk today. What is wrong with me?!?!?! I'm allergic to certain herbs but I haven't had any lately that would be new to my system. I hope it goes away very soon because I'm tired of itching!

Again I ask, Any Volunteers???

If you know me, you know I absolutely can not stand getting the kids their shots, blood taken, Xrays, etc. Well I got out of this vein blood draw tomorrow but I know Dave isn't looking forward to it but it's better for him to do it because I'll start bawling I'm sure. All 3 kids will be going with their daddy tomorrow and for traumatic blood draws on their lead levels. Nice eh?

The library? Still hasn't called and it's noon. As you can tell, this was high on the Assistant Directors agenda. If I don't hear anything by 5, I'm letting Dave call the newspaper in town. This isn't just my kids we're talking about, we're talking about a good 200 kids or so that attended this carnival they put on. They should ATLEAST have the knowledge that a toy with high lead levels needs to be posted in the paper, not just on their stupid door or where you check out the library books. I just can't go to the library because of how loud and crazy Dominic acts. Just not a good place for him so I would have never have known except for through Google. The kids play with these things daily. One problem though, the cat Damien loves, is missing. Below are 3 that I found, I can't find the cat with the brown stripes.

Yeah, like the plastic ziploc sacks?? I'm not taking any chances touching those things. lol The more researching I did last night I found that these toys were actually recalled a year ago and then somehow this Wisconsin company bought them. A hospital worker was at a library function and saw them being handed out and remembered a year ago they had a sick kid that was contaminated from the toys. That's how the recall started AGAIN. Why some company was buying toys recalled over a year ago, who knows.

The Health Department woman is going to post some fliers around there, I'm not sure if they'll put it in the paper. They called me back a bit ago and told me what they'll do when they come to the house. We're almost certain that they'll be coming since Damien just had the cat in his mouth a few days ago. They were quite shocked that they hadn't heard anything thing of it and were quite happy I brought it to their attention.

One thing I'd like to pass on is even if you have a newer house, get your kiddo tested. Obviously after finding out today about sidewalk chalk, Dollar Tree toys, and necklaces sold in stores that contained high lead, I think alot of parents just don't have an idea that toys can be harmful in other ways than just a choking or strangulation hazard. This whole ordeal has not been fun and Damien will probably have this lead in his system for 2 months according to the health department.

Google- You May Have Just Saved My Kids Life

This has been a wild day. Actually pretty normal till around 4:30 PM when I got a phone call from the clinic in town. They were calling me with lab results which was a bit weird since they never have before. According to the nurse, Damien has lead poisioning and needs to come in for another blood draw. The other day they wanted to do a lead screening and after getting the shots I reluctantly said yes although I was SURE I had nothing to worry about. Obviously I was wrong. Come to find out he has high levels of lead in his system. I was shocked. Then came the questions.

Has he been peeling paint off the walls and eating it? Any old paint in the house??
Anyone work with lead that he could have came incontact with?
Has he been acting ok? Showing any symptoms??

By the end of the phone call I was (still am) freaking out. I told her I'd be doing my own Dr's Appointments on Wednesday so I'd bring him in for labs to be done. This time they are going to do a vein draw and it's not going to be fun I can already sense that from the way she was talking about it.

Freaking out, I turned to the computer mainly the best site on this Earth, Google. First I looked up Lead Poisioning in Children since I have no idea what the symptoms are or what lead does to you. Reading down the list of sites that Google posted I came across this one. I thought "what the hell? Paws and Claws library promotion toys have high lead content??" I read the article, got to the bottom and OMG we have 4 of those toys here in our house and Damien was just chewing on one the other day. If anyone remembers we went to several library sessions this summer and our library had a carnival where they gave out animal toys if the kids played their animal games. The kids have had these since mid June. I am absolutely positive this is where the lead poisioning has came from. Unfortunately for me the clinic by 5:30 was closed, the health department closed and the library director is out. I did inform the library what was going on with my kiddo and asked why wasn't anything put in the paper, sent in the mail, etc. She said they just posted a note in the library the other day for patrons. I told her I don't go to the library often so I wouldn't have had any idea! The assistant director is supposed to call me tomorrow.

So then I found that high lead can do fetal damage also depending how much lead you've been in contact with. The article says these have 4 x's the normal amount of lead. Nice. So not only am I going to have the kids all tested, I'm going to get tested myself. These toys have been played with constantly since they got them a few months ago. I just put them in the toy box the other day taking one out of Damien's room. Without Google though, I would have never known about this and I plan to rip the assistant at the library ass to why they haven't put anything in the paper since there must have been 200 kids at the carnival this summer. I was so pissed about this that tonight I got on the treadmill to reduce some stress. Don't think it' worked as I'm still mad as hell. lol

Feel My Pain

This weekend was not fun at all. Not that fact that we didn't do anything, but the fact that I was in pain all weekend from these Varicose/Spider Veins. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to even move because it seems like when I do, more appear. I've had the one up high on my leg since Dominic and some behind my knee after Damien but they never hurt. Well this time they hurt like hell! Before I was just wanting to get rid of them because they look awful, now all I'm worried about is getting the pain to disappear. Saturday night I was hobbling around and told Dave it felt like I had a blood pressure cuff on tight on my leg. When you touch these spots they feel like a big bruise and are super sore. Thank God my left leg is in pretty good shape. Some minor spider veins but nothing major. I'm 20 weeks now and I can't see how I'm going to deal with this till the beginning of January. My appointment is Wednesday and I know the only thing my OB will say is wear support hose. Ugh.

The back side of my knee. This is the worst looking and most painful ones.This is high on my leg and the only one that is sagging out of my skin. It really doesn't look bad and is pretty small but you can see it there at the bottom of the pic.
This is at the bottom front part of my leg by my foot and the 2nd worse ones, quite painful here too.

And I guess Vitamin K cream reduces the appearance but it's so expensive on the internet. I'm not sure if it's available through a retail store but I need to find some immediately. If it doesn't work then I'll for sure do the surgery because my legs look like they belong to a 90 year old woman.

If Damien Treats The New Baby Like This, We May Have A Problem

This was taken about a month ago when we decided to introduce some of Alex's baby dolls to Damien and see what he thought. Mainly he wanted to try to steal the one baby's pacifier. Sorry about my giggling. lol

Shot Day Was Definitely No Fun

Shot day was not fun. I am so glad it's over till he's around 4-5 and gets his kindergarten shots. The poor guy first had 3 in his legs which he cried shortly between each one but his facial expressions about killed me, then ended up having a lead test on top of that so a nice prick to his finger. Poor guy. I felt awful holding him down. The lead test they actually squeeze their finger to make it bleed enough to fill several viles and so we had to hold his arm still while he screamed and they squeezed and flicked each blob of blood into the tube. It was terrible and took a good 5-10 minutes since they couldn't get a good blood flow. They almost were ready to prick another finger. We were there for a hour and a half altogether. I gave him Tylenol so he did pretty good just took his afternoon nap alittle late and then last night we took him to the pool since Alex's school was having their annual pool party for the students. It was his first time at the pool and he loved all the big alligators and other animals that spray water in the baby pool. You couldn't even tell he had a rough afternoon.

Shot Day....Uh Oh. Any Volunteers For Taking Him?

I hate taking kids in for shots. Ugh! I never did take Damien in for his 1 year check up back in July since he had an ear infection so I'm just now getting to it today. He's had a fever this week but nothing today and I think it was because he had a tooth poke through. He also had one day of the squirts which was strange for him since he's my rabbit pellet poop child most of the time. I'm taking Alex with us also to have her ears looked at and make sure her ear infection is gone from 2 weeks ago. These two kids have had so many ear infections where as Dominic may have had 2 in the past 3.5 years. I don't get it. My Great Grandma will be here to watch the other 3 kiddos while I run and do this. I'm so glad that she has finally retired!

Last night I paid for Brownie Girl Scouts for Alex. It was so nice to get out of the house and hang out with other ladies. UGH! I've really missed that this summer. We'll have our first meeting in 2 weeks. Mrs. BetterthanU was there and got all po'd because she had bought her daughter the vest sash instead of the regular one and expressed her dismay to the troop leader. She is such a rotten person. I've never seen a person as negative or horrible to other people as her. She muttered "I didn't think this was going to take THIS long" to someone else and her poor kids were crying for attention and all she did with the baby was slam him back into his stroller, let him knaw on her cellphone and say "this is how he acts when his dad is training." (Army dad) She also gave me the most fakest congrats ever on our pregnancy. I was as nice as ever to her though. We all gabbed about who has what 1st grade teacher and the upcoming field trip and who was helping out. It was just so nice to get out, I'm looking forward to the upcoming meetings. Dave actually had the boys ready for bed when I came home! WOW. Before I came home we stopped off and bought a few things including an Apple Pie so after we stuck the kids in bed (we're evil but I did buy them doughnuts for bt snack though) we had hot apple pie with vanilla ice cream. Yummmmm.

I got a phone call early AM from D saying he was in a car accident. Nice. Luckily he's in a big Chevy Silverado and was only rear-ended. I have to say I'm not surprised it didn't happen sooner as people tailgate him all the time. Company policy has alarms installed on every truck that beep when someone is close to the bumper. It's supposed to be for an employee backing up so they know how far they are from an object BUT it goes off with tailgaters too so when someone is too close, it constantly beeps which is annoying when talking on the cell with him all you hear is this beeping. Anyways he was fine but got me thinking about his safety since he is on the road driving place to place daily. I really haven't been too concerned in the past about him on the road where as when he worked in the prison I was scared 98% of the time. He had been punched in the face by an inmate, found one with a shank, had inmates run from him, it was just frightening. Now though due to this, I'm sure I'll have a new car accident anxiety every day when he leaves for work.

I've been worrying alittle about his job already. I thought the office where I used to work was bad with women fighting and gossip but his office of all guys seems just as bad with the same junk. One coworker who got fired awhile back tried to actually fight one of the managers who was a blackbelt in karate. They all complain, fight and just bad mouth each other all the time. D gets alot of flack because he makes so much more than the others and they know it plus he's been in the profession now for about 6.5 years (3 years was at another company) and tells them the right answers to problems and it pisses them off. One guy inparticular really is upset that he's been there longer and D could potentially become his boss. He actually told him to his face "I'll make damn sure you're not my boss." He even went as far as to start training for the same management job as D. So now we both wonder if this guy in some way shape or form will eventually try to find a way to cost him his job. He tries to stay away from the office and on the road so he doesn't have to deal with anyone's shit because the guys are just a bunch of babies who whine about everything. It's just a mess. If the company would give us some sort of geological answer as to where we could live if he was the branch (Big boss) manager, I'd tell him to go for it so he'd be the boss over all these morons but they won't tell you where you may end up and I'd hate to end up 5,000 miles away from our family.

So today I also got a call for another job. The calls keep pouring in and I still haven't called my referral agency and taken my name off for now due to the house being on the market. This is for a 7 wk old and 22 month old which would be 8-5. We're going to try to meet in the next few days. I'm still pulling teeth with D on getting the house off the market till April.

Last night we did some remodeling to our bedroom. It's become pretty apparent to me that the house is just not going to sell at the moment and with the kids now in school, I just want to take the stupid thing off the market but Dave is being a real about it wanting to wait. If the house got a contract today, we could be moving when I'm 24-28 weeks pregnant. That's getting too close to me. So, because I'm pretty sure we're going to be staying here till next year, I wanted to move our chest infront of our bed and have this wall open by the door for where the baby cradle or pack n play bassinet (haven't decided) will be when we bring the babe home. I'm going to keep this one in our room for awhile then move them in with Damien. I'm just really worried about putting Damien in with Dominic at the moment since he can be so aggressive and mean. I think putting the babies together would work better. After moving our heavy Ashley Furniture around in our bedroom, I've feeling alittle SORE this morning. Oh it sucked. First we tried to lift the chest over the bed since the dresser was in the way. The thing is the size of an Armoire but I could only lift it about 36 inches which is the same height AS the bed so obviously I couldn't just lift it over. So then we moved the dresser and the mirror was wobbling which was pretty frightening. Finally though, we completed our mission and I got everything back in order. I've been nesting OBVIOUSLY. I also completed a remodel on our unfinished basement laundry/storage room during naptime the past 2 days. Bought some organizers, labeled them and some boxes. Cleaned and dusted, got rid of spiderwebs, etc.

Last night after moving all the junk in the bedroom around, I watched Scarbourgh Country and OMG it was hilarious. They were talking about how people really think Bush is giving us a bad image as Americans with his speech and language skills. I'm guessing they played about 40 clips of his language errors. Anyways I had just bought this shirt for Damien the other day and I wish I could send it to their show. HAHA!

You know I couldn't just buy some new shirts for Damien and not Dominic so I bought him a few too. Here's what he wore to school today. I'm sure his teachers got a kick out of it because they know he is off the wall here. Just this morning he picked up his plate with his iced toaster strudel and threw it at me like a frisbee getting shit everywhere because "I dough wann it." Sometimes I could kick his little butt to the moon. Grrrrrr.....

May have a new job! We'll see!!

Dave and I had a discussion last night on where my brain has went. So much for calling my referral agency and stopping my daycare leads. lol I got a call last night from a mom getting divorced, needs care for her 3 kiddos that attend the same school as Alex before school. I warned her about my house being on the market but she was ok with it. The only flaw of this job is it's at 5:45 AM! UGH!!!!! I think I'll be ok because I usually wake around 5:30 anyways then kinda come and go till about 6:30 when my alarm goes off. I'll get paid for feeding them breakfast from the State and getting them on the bus at 7:15. How cool is that!!!! The only thing I pray is that she isn't getting any Social Service help. If so that means I'll have to file paperwork again for that to get paid my daycare from the State but that's ok. It'd be $40 a week ($8 a morning) That's the easiest cash ever! So hopefully she gets this job, this all depends on if she gets a job. If this works, Dave's mom will regret wanting to come stay at our place for 2 weeks in September. HAHAHAHA! Yeah be ready for my crying, whining, bitching around mid September and then rejoicing when she leaves.

When The Levees Broke

Did anyone get a chance to watch this last night?? When I had heard Spike Lee was getting ready to release a documentary of Katrina on HBO, I had the timer on my digital box set for it because I really wanted to see the "behind the scenes" look to what really went on down there. Most of the information was a repeat (from CNN) but the interviews with the resident that lived through it were really interesting to listen too. The part about the government in 1965 blowing up the levee so the poor area would flood and the nicer areas of town wouldn't was a bit shocking. Some of the residents swore up and down they all heard explosions at the same time,the same day. Interesting. Dave was saying maybe people should have thought a bit before moving in an area of dike levees and 6 ft below sea level. I told him that those people believed that nothing would happen that those levees would protect them from danger, that's pretty much what the whole town thought.

He must have forgotten that that big LONG 10 mile or so hill across the street from us in our neighbor's field is a dike levee so I guess we're pretty stupid then too for not thinking?? What a moron. lol The city we live in is considered a VALLEY. I think he forgot that too. We live on the higher ground (when we drive to town it feels like you are looking down on town) but when it floods, the water table rises and in 1993 the basement of this house flooded and the old owners had to do a total remodel on it. Yes the dike has protected our house from any major damage but if it was to fail, uhhh we could be screwed. Here's a picture of town about 10 miles from my house in 1929 before they built the dike here. It flooded about 3-4 more times before they finally built something to protect our town. Here's a pic from my front porch of the dike across the street from my place. That white building is a water deal where they check our ground water but you can kinda see how the ground behind it is higher. You might be able to tell better on the pic of Alex getting on the bus below. If we get alot of snow, it's awesome to take the kids over there and let them sled down it. Since we've lived here, it's flooded about 5 times on the other side. It's pretty unbelieveable. There are 2 churches right over the hill and they both look like they are icebergs in the ocean. The rest of it you could take a nice boat through if you wanted but it would be nothing compared to the flooding in New Orleans. The 2nd part of the documentary airs tonight if anyone is interested.

Dominic Goes Back To School

Well Dominic is back to school. Ahhhhhh! I went in his room at 7:00 and happily announced the special day.

Me: Dominic, Dominic guess what today is......

Dominic: (still half asleep) NO.

Me: Dominic remember where you get to go this morning?

Dominic: Go 'way.

Me: Awww. But Dominic Colleen will be here in alittle bit to pick you up.

Dominic: No. No Bus.

Me: She'll be sad if you don't get on her bus and go to school though. Don't you want to go to school?

Dominic: No. No School. Dominic Sleep.

Me: Ok fine I'll just call the school and tell them you don't want to go.

Zooooom! He jumped straight up out of bed and flew to the front room. The little stinker wants to go to school he's just trying to be a pain and act like he doesn't. I got him a toaster strudel cut up with the most requested Superman Emblem painted on it, a banana and some milk and he chowed down talking about school and the bus. Then we got dressed and waited for 30 minutes till the bus showed up at 8:00. He was super excited looking outside the window, checking out the front door. We've been getting a bunch of rain FINALLY so I carried him to the bus so we wouldn't get his new shoes that he loves dirty. So I didn't get a pic of him running to the bus but that's ok.

So this morning has been REALLY different. I've got the 2 girls and Damien. After next week when K goes to preschool, I'll just have her sister and Damien in the mornings and Dominic returns around 12. I've decided that until we figure what's going to happen with our house situation, I'm not going to worry about taking new daycare kids. The house for sale is just a big turn off to parents. We have decided though if the house doesn't sell by September 5th, we'll take it off the market and wait till around April 15th (1 mth before school ends) to list it again. I am just not wanting to do anything during the school year. We have 2 different PTO's we participate in, gymnastics, Brownies, and other things. I think a switch during the school year will be hard on the kids too especially with Dominic.

Last of all, I leave you with this side angle of my fat gut at 19 weeks with my zebra stripes and all. I have Alexzandra to thank for the 100's of stretch marks all over my gut and hips. Oh yes, the Kokepelli in my bathroom that I put up right after our miscarriage hoping the Fertility Gods would help me get pregnant quick with Damien? Gots to come down. As soon as this baby comes out. Down. They have done their job. I think having 8 of them on the wall, a rug on the floor, the towels on the racks with them, the shower curtain covered in them and the toothbrush holder with one it it too was enough to blast anyone with fertility that walks into my bathroom. Hope everyone is having a great morning!

Give Him A Beat, And There Goes His Feet!

Damien has finally mastered walking at 13 months old. He still crawls around quite a bit but he is offically a walking toddler. I'm not sad at all because with another on the way, I wanted him to be more of an independent little guy than hugging on my legs and having me hold him constantly. A few bad notes about the walking though are now when he sees me putting on my shoes or grabbing my keys he runs crying hysterically because he knows I'm leaving him with Daddy and also since he walks now he goes cabinet to cabinet alot quicker dragging out my pots, pans, and cookbooks.

I love it though and now he's incorporated walking into his dance routine. He's went from the chicken peck dance (where he bows constantly forward over and over since he doesn't bend his knees) to running around the front room and trying to manuever in circles at a high rate of speed. Here's alittle video of his new dance technique.

Walking has definitely made him a happier little boy. You can tell he feels like the other two now, a big kid. lol When there's a daddy dogpile, not just Alex and Dominic run to tackle daddy on the floor, Damien is there too giggling and piling on his back. He also loves that he can walk around outside now like a big kid instead of me carrying him everywhere.

Could I Have Your Trash Please??

Now that school has started back, the schools will soon be asking for Box Tops and Cambell's labels during the year. Every year I ask around this time if anyone has some they'd like to donate. Unless you have kids in school and know what I'm talking about, you probably just throw these things away without even thinking about it. Do you eat Toaster Strudels, Pillsbury rolls, Campbell's Soup or Hamburger Helper? They're on there if you go through your cabinets. What they potentially are, is free money to schools to use in any way they need. Being in the PTO's at both schools, you learn the "wishlists" are huge but the money is just not there to buy new library books, toys or new playground equipment, or even extra clothes for the kids who have accidents. The Box Tops and Campbell's labels are how they get this stuff. It works like this. Cut off the label or Box Top, give it to the school and it equals $$$$.

Box Tops for Education = .10 each. These are some of the items they are found on.

Campbell's Labels for Education= points. I'm not sure how it works but here's what they are on.
Here's a demo on how to find them on their products. With Boxtops you can easily find them and cut the square box off.

If you don't have any kids in school and want to try helping us, email me and I'll give you our address to help. You could probably cram a ton of box tops in an envelope for .39. Maybe 6-8 campbell's labels for the same price. The kids will be extra happy because they have contests on who can collect the most they usually have a class pizza party or something. The kids love sending and receiving mail so if you do happen to send any, I'll have the kids send back a Kansas postcard from them saying Thank You.

I'm feeling a bit better this morning, praying to be on the mend! Ugh! So frustrating. I went to the Dr yesterday and he's pretty sure it's just my allergies. I failed to mention I do get allergies a few times a year but this was the worst ever. He called up one of the allergists since I was pregnant on what I could take. They put me on Rhinocort Aqua to squirt up my nose 2 times a day since it's strictly nasal and won't go in my blood stream or any of that and Cefaclor (antibiotic) since all that pressure put water in my ear that could lead to an ear infection soon. What a pain in the ass being pregnant and sick trying to get meds. Damn the baby. lol He told me I should notice a nasal difference today which I do and I should be completely unstuffed in the next few days.

Dave had a dream about the baby the other night. He said something happened where I was completely out of it and he had to sign papers so he named the baby Mia Isabella, his girl name. After bickering for years on this name, I freakin give. If it's a girl YES it will be Mia, just to please him. Also if it's a girl, he's D.O.N.E. because he's gotten his little Italian Princess name that he's had picked out forever but couldn't have because I don't think the name would have fit either of the boys. lol I wonder if it means anything if the Dad is dreaming it's a girl?? Could we possibly get a girl this time?? Seriously I just might not believe it if they told me in 2 weeks we're having a girl. And if it's another boy, I'll do more comforting to Alexzandra than myself. The poor kid will be a bawling mess because she wants a sister but got 2 brothers instead.

I also finally uploaded some pics from July, Damien's birthday, T ball and such. There's more at Flickr if you click them.

Whack that ball! That's my girl!

Damien tired of being in the stroller, begging me to let him out.

Firework Tattoos for 4th of July

Damien loves these Road Ripper vehicles that make noises and drive themselves

Riding Ponies at the 4th of July Carnival

And We Start All Over Again: Pictures From The Morning

Today was Alexzandra's first day of school. I was happy to send her off because she is just too bored at home. She woke me up at 6:30 AM holding her shoes and socks standing next to my bed and said "my alarm went off." I got her something to eat and hopped in the shower. Got her dressed and ready to go.

Bus arrived at 7:20 and she FLEW out the door.

It was funny seeing her so excited to go back to school. Poor kid. I must have been a bore I guess this summer. Dominic and Damien both woke up for breakfast. I seem to be an artist to my kids with Toaster Strudels as they have me draw stupid things every time they have them. Today Dominic wanted Superman. Good thing is that it makes them eat 'em.

After breakfast Damien needed a bath. His favorite thing to do is fill a cup while the tub fills with water.

So now this crazy routine will get even more hectic when Dominic starts school next Monday. I'm really excited for that! lol Tomorrow we will go to the school to enroll him and drop off his school supplies. This morning I'm going to the Dr to make sure my horrible cold isn't turning to a dreaded ear infection. It's starting to feel weird and I would rather get to the Dr before it gets too painful since I am prone to getting them. I think that having that steam vaporizor going the past two nights though has really helped me sleep better. I haven't even woke up to pee being pregnant and all. And THAT is a miracle folks.

Hope everyone's having a great morning.

How Many Days Have I Complained About Being Sick Now?

I'm completely stuffed up once again. I actually slept pretty decent last night since I used a steam vaporizer with Vics. Dave on the other hand said he slept like crap because he was hot. I am so sick of being sick. If this is just allergies, I am screwed for the next few months till it gets extremely cold but if it's a cold or whatever I wish it would PLEASE PASS.

I always save Sunday as my big weekly Walmart trip because I've got my coupons and huge list complied for the week. The trip took nearly 2 hours since this was the last trip before school starts. I bought Alex some cute tops and a whole slew of different items for packing her lunches. School lunches are $2 a day and she just doesn't like everything they serve so instead of her wasting it, I make her lunches at a portion of that price. I tried to buy a wide variety as I don't want to bore her with the same things over and over.

Feeling completely awful Dave had this great idea of stopping by Starbucks since he had a giftcard after our trip to Walmart. I never go there since I hate coffee. I can't stand it, and I would imagine I'm the only Stay at Home Mom that doesn't drink it. They did have some other stuff though like Cocoa and Cider. When I saw Carmel Apple Cider though I just HAD to try it so I got a Tall (which looked like a small McDonald's cup!) and tried to drink it although I had been having a hard time tasting anything since that sense is gone at the moment but when I could taste, it was so freakin yummy that I believe I'll be going back daily to Starbucks for Carmel Apple Ciders!!! It was SOOOOO good! Even Damien was batting at me for more everytime I gave him a sip. YUM!

After all the Walmart madness and such we came home and got the kids fed and ready for bed. Dominic had been a real pain in the ass all day. I'm not kidding when I say we probably yelled at him about 75 times about something every few minutes. By 9 O clock and having no nap for the day, he was jumping off the arms of the couch, jumping all over David laying on the couch, hitting Damien and beating up on Alex. No matter how many times we'd say "no" he just kept doing all these things over and over. I'm at my wits end with him right now. I hope school starting for him next week will get him back on track but in all honesty I still think he's a potential ADHD canidate. He has all the classic symtoms of it and I wish I could just go get him tested and find out but I'm afraid they'll still say it's too soon. The whole "he's just being a boy" line that I hear from everyone is just annoying and old. Perhaps he does just get away with murder here. He does act great for my mom and grandma for the most part. From what his teacher said last year though as he settled into the routine and into having his teachers, then that's when he started acting up and getting put in timeout. He isn't with my parents, inlaws, or anyone else enough. Just me, Momma who he smacks, yells at, and disobeys all day long so he can get his way.

When I got the kids to bed I finally had some time to relax before cleaning the house for the night, then Damien awoke and started screaming because he lost his binkie. I went back to his room to help him and bending over the crib, the baby kicked. Reality hit. I about broke down. I'm seriously going to have 2 kids on binkies in a few months, 1 child who refuses to poop on the toilet and still wears diapers and doesn't understand his rough play hurts his brother and then Alex who is constantly fighting with Dominic over everything or taunting about something on purpose. I could possibly have a heart attack next year. I'm sure my hair will be completely gray by the time I deliver. I think I may be screwed. lol

My Stupid Assvice

I received a phone call friday night from a good friend when I was feeding Damien and had Dave tell her I'd call her back when I was done. I was still feeling pretty congested and crappy so I fell asleep on the couch and forgot about calling her. I knew yesterday evening with her calling me again something had to be up. She wanted advice about her brother, who's pretty much turned into an alcoholic and she didn't know what to do about it. Her brother's buddy called her at 3 AM yesterday morning telling her to drive 10 hours to Dallas, TX before her brother ended up killing himself from drinking.

Stupid Assvice that kept me up all night regretting I said it: There's probably not much your going to be able to do about it. He's not going to stop just because you tell him to if you've told him that before. (which is what she thinks too)

Here's the situation. Another Sad story of War. Her brother is in the military, high ranking I guess, he went to Iraq when the war first started. Found out his wife was screwing around on him while he was there. He came back, she moved out. He got called a 2nd time to Iraq. Got back not too long ago and was told that he would not have to go back. Sure. SO he bought a brand new truck and a new house since he got some pretty good money from going overseas. He started sleeping with a gal (just for sex) who may have gotten pregnant on purpose and now she's wanting $800 a month Child Support. He also found out awhile back he's going back to Iraq for the 3rd time and he's pretty upset about that as well as his family since they didn't think he would be. It's just been one thing after another. He got really drunk the other night and ran his new truck threw a field and wrecked it. Luckily he didn't kill anyone, just did major damage to his vehicle. They hauled the truck off (no cops were called) so that this wouldn't get back to anyone and he wouldn't get in trouble with the military. So now he's sitting at home without a working vehicle and drinking all the time depressed with where his life is going.

His parents are here too so they have no idea about any of this. His friend is really concerned and begging Kat to do something. I feel horrible that i don't have more advice to give. You ask me anything about kids, daycare, animals and I would probably have some advice but for this I just don't know what to say. What should she really be doing?? Anyone??

Sick and Potty Training: I've Lost My Mind

So yesterday I ended up getting sick. With 6 kids here. Damien has been waking up around midnight with a horrible stuffy nose and unable to breathe well with his binkie. He's been holding his ears but he hasn't been cranky enough for me to think he's got another ear infection yet. SO I'm assuming I've caught a cold from him. I had the whole achey body, congestion, headache, no appetite thing going on. I really didn't sleep well at all because I felt like I was having hot flashes and couldn't breathe. Damien woke again around midnight so I gave him a dose of Little Noses and Vics then he slept with me for 2 hours till I put him in bed at 2 and then I've been up since about 5:45 with the boys both awake by 7. (sigh) I'm a firm believer in completely suffering before using medicine when pregnant but this morning I knew I couldn't operate today so I broke down and took Tylenol Cold and Sinus and now I'm feeling pretty good except my runny nose. How could you possibly get a cold when it's 105 degrees out? lol

Dominic wore his Thomas the Tank underwear all day yesterday with no accidents. I was so afraid of a #2 but he never even did it. I asked him all day if he needed to poop on the toilet and he said no. By nighttime I wanted to put him in a diaper for bed and he flat refused! He wanted to sleep with his Thomas underwear. I was scared, hesitant, but I went ahead. I told him about 20 times if he had to go pee, he needed to get up and go to the bathroom or else he was going to pee all over himself and his blankets. Well no accidents last night in bed but as soon as he woke up I guess he did have an accident while I was still in the shower. Luckily it wasn't much at all. Still no poop and he's wearing a pull up this morning. If he gets this potty training finished, we're buying Pirate of the Caribbean action figures, his favorite being Jack Sparrow. The kid has watched the first one about 500 times now and Jack is his idol. Hopefully this will be the incentive to get him potty trained. I'm thinking at this rate, Damien will possibly be trained before Dominic. Wouldn't that be a riot?

Beating the Heat at the WaterPark

I volunteer without thinking WAY too much. I forgot I have to take L to dance camp for her parents and I also have 5 other kids (3 are mine). I have a minivan so that's not the problem, the problem is that it'll be naptime and I have to dig out extra booster chairs and carseats. Ugh. Still no word on my prospect new daycare kiddo. I'm starting to assume she found someone else. Oh well.

The best thing on Earth happened last night. I was playing on the laptop watching TV and felt a very strong pushy/flip movement! Ahh! I felt pretty good after that and I felt one good nudge a few minutes ago too. Everything before now has been hardly noticable at all just little flicks here and there. It's starting to seem real now. When I get all giddy about having another, I think of Finding Nemo when Colleen (the mommy Clownfish) says to Marlin (the daddy) "I can't believe we're going to be PARENTS!!!" except it's more like "I can't believe we're going to be parents of 4!!!" lol

Since I'm going to be doing more daycare now, I did housework yesterday morning and then took the kids to the waterpark since I may not be able to much the rest of summer. They had a great time even though it was 10AM. It was getting pretty HOT at 11 so we left. Here's some pics.
Dominic was jumping around screaming at this boy teasing him so he'd try to spray him. It was so funny!

Here's the kids spraying each other.

Dominic and Alex playing with one of the poles that shoots out water

Damien called Daddy to tell him we were having fun without him.

After this I broke my planned lunch and took the kids to McDonalds for Polly Pocket and Hummer Happy Meals. lol Today we'll have the Grilled Cheese Sandwiches.

Damien's Meme

Thanks to Shauna (S.) for thinking of Damien! Here's we go!

3 Things That Scare Me
My Brother Dominic
That loud thing that comes after me while sucking on the carpet!
Whenever Momma leaves me

3 People That Make Me Laugh
My Momma
My Dadda
My Sissy

3 Things I Love
Bathtime is my favorite part of the day!
Moving in the stroller and looking at new things.
Making a Mess with the newspaper!

3 Things I Hate
When Momma scrubs my face with a washcloth, I scream.
If I see Momma go for a kleenex, I run!
Sitting Still in the stroller makes me MAD.

3 Things I Don’t Understand
That if I shut the cabinet door with my fingers in the way, they'll get smashed.
No. Whatever it means, I think it's funny!
It's not funny to hit people.

3 Things On My Desk/Table (or my highchair)
Cherrios
A Sippy Cup of Milk
Pieces of a Big N Tasty Hamburger from McDonalds! I Love Those!

3 Things I’m Doing Right Now
Walking Around Pretty good now
Waving Bye Bye- only to people I know though.
Dancing to Anything that has a beat.

3 Things I Want to Do Before I Die
Go to Worlds Of Fun- That commercial looks like fun!
Eat a whole container of sherbet, not just a little bowl!
Stay up all night long!

3 Things I Can Do
Hit you then kiss your nose afterwards
Throw a Ball, that's pretty fun!
Walk on my knees

3 Ways to Describe My Personality
Shy
Happy
Loveable

3 Things I Can’t Do
Run yet, although I try when I walk
Feed myself with silverware
Eat Oreos without looking like I have a black beard afterwards

3 Things I Think You Should Listen To
The dog bark because it's funny!
Me cry and figure out what I want!
All my battery powered toys because their cool!

3 Things I Think You Should Never Listen To
That noisy blender I can't stand it!
Dominic's girlie scream, he'll make you jump!
My farts because they are loud and smelly!

3 Absolute Favorite Foods
Hamburgers
American Sliced Cheese
Oreo Cookies

3 Things I’d Like to Learn
To Beat Up Dominic
To Open doors, I'm trying just not tall enough yet
Why Momma's Stomach is getting so big, I just don't get it!

3 Beverages I Drink Regularly
Milk
Water
Juice

3 Shows I Watched as a Kid
Dora The Explorer
Backyardigans
Really I just glance at these shows, not too interested yet.

3 Babies I Tag
Goldie
Adam
Haley

The Labor of Love

Ok, another pregnancy complaint. This pregnancy is going to kill me. I just want the next 20 some weeks to hurry so I can get this child out. I love him/her but this is just not good on my poor body. 5 AM this lovely morning I got a Charlie horse from rolling over. Dave's lucky he was in the shower because usually I'll start flapping my arms, pounding whatever is around and he seems to get beat up if he's laying there. God it must have lasted a minute, I thought it'd never end. So I'll be stumbling around today as my left leg is sore from that, and my right upper leg has a vericose vein that throbs now constantly. Obviously bedrest is not an option for me but if I'm hobbling around now at 17 1/2 weeks, what will I be like at 30, 35, 37? I used to love being pregnant, uh not anymore. Just give me the kid already.

I had a daycare interview the other day with a Mom who teaches and needs care for her 14 month old little girl Allison. Today is day #2 that I haven't heard from her so I'm assuming if I don't hear back by Friday, she's found someone else. Having our house on the market didn't seem like a big deal to her because she herself might be moving to a different city so the care could be short term. So we'll see. I showed her the play area, kitchen, back yard so she had a feel for the place. Then I made sure to tell K and K that she may get a reference call from her. lol Basically I told their mom that if we don't sell this house soon, we may just pull it and wait till next summer to sell. Their mom said if we do that she plans on leaving the girls here so that's good. As of tomorrow, it's back to the fulltime daycare grind. I'll have K and K from 7:30-4 and L from 7:30-3 the next 2 days and pretty much the same schedule next week till school starts.

Mini Thins, NoDoze, and Mountain Dew Anyone??

I had a night from HELL but usually that's said with a newborn in the house. No not here. Kids all went down at 9. Damien usually falls asleep quite fast but both boys were up till 10!! Damien was jumping around playing in bed, not crying or anything though so that was nice. Dave and I thought we'd get our freak on around 11 which was interupted by both boys (Dominic coughing his head off and waking up, Damien screaming because he lost his binkie) so it was a race to the finish because we knew if we didn't, something else was going to happen. Nothing else did though and we fell asleep around 12. I woke up at 2 AM, thought my bladder was going to explode and as soon as I got up I had excruciating pain from my lovely vericose vein on the back side of my knee. Ugh this pregnancy SUCKS. Each pregnancy has definitely been worse on my body that's for sure. I might have dozed off possibly man who knows but 3 AM and Alex is standing overtop of me. This kid just stands there and waits for you to wake up not saying a word till finally you toss and she's RIGHT THERE IN YOUR FACE. I keep picturing her with a butcher knife one of these days. Her ear is bugging her. I'm praying it's not another ear infection. If so it could possibly be the 8th one in a year. Last night her 6 year Molar was bugging her (enough that she cried at gymnastics) on the opposite side so I know it's not that molar bugging her ear. So along with making a Dr appointment for her ear, I will also be calling the dentist and asking what to do about her molar woes because the kid is basically back to the teething stage at the moment and in some pain. So same thing at 5:45, standing over me saying her ear hurts. By 6:30 I hauled myself out of bed to start the day and as soon as she heard the floor boards creaking, she jumped out of bed too.

So I'm a bit tired this morning, and mini thins NoDoze and Mountain Dew would be a great combination to get me through the day but being pregnant at the moment, that cocktail is out. Instead I will enjoy my big glass of Nesquik Chocolate Milk and Tylenol for the sleep deprevation headache soon too come.

Oh and some great news, our open house only had 3 couples but 1 seems pretty interested and actually said our house was the best one she'd seen so far so hopefully that's a plus. Our realtor is trying to get more info from them in the next few days since they didn't have a realtor themselves.

Canada, eh? What the heck?

AHHHH HA!! I figured out where Dominic got What the Heck. Turns out as we were trying to keep the house super clean for our open house yesterday, we turned on some cartoons, Fairly Odd Parents on Nick to be exact and little Timmy Turner said it on this one episode right as I was sitting there. JUST LIKE DOM'S been saying it. Then on the same episode the Fairy Godparents and his real parents were traveling to Canada. The Fairies were all excited as Canada is the "best country on Earth!!" This explains why Alex was asking me the other day about Canada and where it was. Obviously it was a re-run and afterwards she wanted to know what kilometers and Mounties were also.

Speaking of Canada, I'm going to KILL Dave I swear. My Dad has always wanted to take a family vacation with us and the kids. Branson, Denver, OKC, something like that I would find ok but with Dave's job, he gets discounts through Royal Carribean for cruises so he brought up the idea of going on a family cruise to my Dad the other day. At first I sat at Dad's thinking we'd just drive to TX and go to Mexico but then Dave started mentioning the Alaskan cruise my father has been dying to go on. Uh huh. Dad thinks its a wonderful idea, even pulled out his stupid video tape from the cruise a few years back to show us the kid activities. Cruise: not a big deal. Flying from Wichita, Ks to Dallas,Texas, then flying to Vancouver, Canada. BIG FLIPPIN DEAL. So basically they're talking about these plans and I'm making excuses. "You know I don't fly" "I'm pregnant and I don't think I can do that." So then we'll do it after the baby they say but I'm not taking an infant on a cruise, sorry. We'll probably be discussing more on this later since my Dad comes over all the time. He's pretty excited at the thought.

In other news, Here's a preggo picture with Damien smiling thinking "OMG! I can't even fit my legs around you anymore you fat cow!"

And guess what? Not only did I get the house ready for our 3rd (and hopefully our final) open house, I actually did Mommy duties! I sorted my coupons:

And then I organized them, I've been such a slacker lately.

Then here's Damien being the boy he is. This Shake and Go Speedway is one of the best toys we ever bought, all though the cars eat tons of batteries. Yeah, just because you shake them, they still need battery power, they ARE NOT LIKE THOSE FLASHLIGHTS. Anyways, Damien loves it and understands now that the more you shake the car, the longer it goes on the track. Dominic's not too keen on sharing his toys yet so we're working on that.

So that was our weekend in a nutshell. lol How was yours?

Heat Can Make One Moody Mommy

You know it's really hard to believe Damien is already 13 months. He still seems like a baby to me mainly because he hasn't mastered walking yet. He'll walk about 15 steps or so then fall on his butt. Mainly he'll just go from the couch to the loveseat but sometimes you'll see him out of the blue try to walk down the hall or walk into the kitchen. He's so cute too because he thinks if he goes fast, he'll make it so when he walks he usually goes at like a flying fast speed almost leaning forward with his arms out to catch something if he falls. It amazes me how much he understands now too such as if someone takes a toy from him. He won't have any of that and will attempt to take it back. He knows that cars go "rrrrrrrrrr" when you drive them and the word "EAT" means he gets food.

These pictures were taken yesterday at 8 AM, about the only time here in Kansas where the kids can go outside and play. This weather just SUCKS. It's so hot and humid. The kids even at 8 AM can only stand about maybe 1 hour of it and want to come in. I can't even stand it after 10 minutes. I'm looking forward to it cooling down but at this rate and with how hot it's been this summer it probably won't happen till the beginning of October.

Yesterday it was so hot, my Grandma took the kids (except Damien) to the pool and I told her I'd go pick them up. Our pool thinks it's extra special with their dumb water slides and such that they won't let anyone in without paying even if you are just picking up your kids. I was pissed, they paged my grandma but the kids weren't ready so I came back at 5. I was a bit worried Dominic might poop in the pool. I came back at 5 and she took him to the locker room to get dressed. Alex came out and said that Dominic had pooped his pants in the pool because he had runny poop in his pull up. I was so mad, I went to the car to get the wipes and this time I basically said fuck it and went to the pay window and told the bitches "you know what, my son pooped in the pool and I'm not going to allow my grandma to change that so sorry, I'm going in." I walked in there straight to the bathroom and you could just smell the stench. My Gma was shocked and asked if I paid the $4 to get in and I said no, I just walked in. With the heat index it was 110 degrees and I had been waiting with Damien in the stroller for like 15 minutes. She had sprayed it all off in the shower with Dominic gagging the whole time. lol Serves him right. But she didn't need the wipes after all. When I came out the pool manager was standing around almost like he was looking for a certain person, hmmm wonder who. I just walked by with my box of Huggies wipes in hand and escorted my kids out of there. To me, that's just pathetic to not let someone go and get their kids and leave when it's 110 out. So that was my excitement yesterday. Anyone else have anything exciting happen yesterday??

Alex: She's One Smart Cookie

So I've explained in the past about Miss Priss knowing EVERYTHING. Here's a little reminder. She says Enzyte is for men and women. Uh huh. So anyways it has come to my attention that maybe she's been watching a bit too much TV this summer. Everyday it seems like she's telling me at the store or just running up to me and saying we need to buy this, that or the other because there's a contest, promotion or just something going on at some place in town.

Fruit Rollups- Win a trip to Hollywood!!!
McDonalds- Win a Car for the Pirates of the Carribean movie!!!!
Go Gurt Portable Yogurt- Race tracks for the Cars Movie on each push up!!!
The Nissan Quest- "Look Momma!! It's the Magic Bus with 2 TV's!!!!!!!"
Wendy's Kids Meals- You can get sandwiches and yogurt now with your kid's meal!!
Eggo Waffles- One side is regular and one side is now chocolate!!! Let's buy some!!!

It just goes on and on. I'm really looking forward to school starting back up and for her little brain to go into overdrive on remembering how to add, read and write. lol I enrolled her yesterday. I felt pretty crappy too because if we sell our house, she'll have to transfer in the school year now, it's just not what I was wanting. I signed back up to be a room parent till we transfer because I love doing things for her and her classmates. Dominic will be enrolled in 2 weeks for his school. Since he attends an Early Intervention school he's at a complete different location. Alex's first day is the 15th, less than 2 weeks away now!! It's hard to believe summer is just about over and it's time for our busy school year to start back over. We'll be attending both school PTA's, Gymnastics, Brownies, and we plan on sticking Dominic into something, either Fall Soccer or Tae Kwon Do. I love doing it all though, keeps us busy!

The Appointment and Some Pics

I had a pretty good appointment yesterday and their business office didn't ask to speak to me about paying up front. Last year with Damien they called me back BEFORE my appointment. When they didn't this time I was like, "oh ok, i just won't say anything." So I got out of there and escaped the claws of their greedy business manager. This will give me 1 more month to figure out whether I should keep going there after we move or transfer to a new OB. My next appointment is August 30th where I'll be alittle over 20 weeks and we'll do my big sono.

I'm really starting to wonder what the heck I have in there now. The office used to do sonos at 17 weeks but I guess they must have had too many occurances of not being able to tell or something so now they do it at 20 weeks. It doesn't really bother me though. Dave has told me he'll be happy with whatever it is and has even said we don't need to find out. SO what I've decided is at this Sono, I'll tell the lady that does it just to let me look since I'm pretty good now at figuring out sonos, then we just won't tell him and see how long he goes before it's bugging the crap out of him. Is that evil or what??? LOL

After my appointment I came to the main road and wanted to go to Sonic for a Fresh Fruit Slush but the road was blocked by cop cars. I had to turn the opposite direction but looked and saw that there was a bike turned over next to a car. I knew someone must have been hurt by looking at it. Come to find out it was a classmate of my mom's and his wife on the back died, he's in serious condition in the hospital. Airlifted and that's probably why they had that whole section of the 4 lane blocked off so they could get the helicopter in there. So sad though!

Last I'll leave some new pics of the boys. Alex hasn't let me taken any good pics lately.
Damien on the Couch

Dominic has been shoving balls in his shirt so he's pregnant too.

Damien trying to grab things off the kitchen table

A Better Day

Well things are going much better this morning. After K and K's mom came and cleared things up yesterday and paid me, things got much better. Since I had the whole day off so I took the kids out in the afternoon to Wendy's for a Frosty. This morning I'm watching L (the 6 yr old) and her friend who stayed the night with her. I thought it was going to just be for a hour but come to find out it's for 3! Oh well. Dominic threw up this morning I believe from being so hungry but of course I had just ate and then ended up throwing up as well from the smell and viewing of his. Nice!

So I discovered this morning with a warning from Linda that if you Google your name, you could possibly bring up your blog. So I tried, and it happened. So hopefully no one I complain about on here on a regular basis ever finds this site. I went to the post that I was identified on and took out the last name. Since my name on this site is my real name, and this post I put the last name in, it pulled it up. Not cool. Even though I changed it, it STILL brought it up. Luckily it's like at the bottom of the Google page, the first 25 or so brought up searches that are all in Italian with my name.

So today is also my 16 week appointment. Oh boy oh boy! I have to discuss a payment plan with the business office. With Damien's birth they asked me to pay $800 upfront before surgery, I did but then after my insurance paid them off completely, I wanted my money back and they told me no, not till my 6 wk appointment which did not fly with me at all. I haven't went bezerk like that on a business ever. I'm usually pretty civil. So now they want $1200. I'm going to just go ahead and tell them I'll pay it but I want the money back as soon as I get verification by an insurance statement on how much they will pay them. If my insurance pays the whole freakin bill, they should KNOW I met my max payout. Your insurance isn't usually going to pay a whole freakin bill then not pay on your 6 week postpartum. Their comeback last year was that I still had lab work with the pelvic after Damien was born when my return comeback was MY INSURANCE PAYS FOR ALL LABS, I don't. So I got my money through mail the next day. Dave wants me to transfer to a OB in Wichita if we do end up moving. I'm willing but a bit scared. I've had all my kids through the place I'm going to right now and I hate change. Plus at the hospital here, I know where the Maternity fridge is for us Mom's and we can get whatever the heck we want so usually while I'm in the hospital I drink about 20 cans of pineapple juice and chocolate milk and eat about 6 cups of jello. lol

I Just Need To Keep Cleaning and Keep My Mind of Everything

So this is a meltdown. I still have no idea whether the two girls I watch are coming here anymore or if their mom is taking them to our old provider down the street from us starting this week. I feel so fucking betrayed it's not even funny. I'm sitting here so pissed and crying at the moment because I just feel like no one gives a flying fuck (especially Dave) for the FIRST TIME IN 3 1/2 years, he's telling me "don't worry about it, if she doesn't bring the kids just sit home and relax with Damien." Basically since he's making a shitload of money now, it's OK for me to do nothing. I keep getting calls for daycare and as soon as I say "yes I have openings, but I need to let you know we do have our house on the market," it's pretty much an "oh well thanks, but I think I'll keep looking." Dave knows this, he's heard me on the phone with several people the past 4 weeks telling them that line so he thinks I should just close up shop and do absolutely nothing here at home. I know people reading this are probably saying "what the hell? Isn't that you've wanted the past few years anyways??"

Uhh yeah. Here's a post from 1.5 yrs ago.....
What the hell am I doing? I will say now I LOVE MY KIDS!! They are the best except my son's a bit of a pain sometimes but I DON'T LIKE WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS!! I watch my neices and they are pretty good for the most part. Kaelynn can get a bit mean since she is the same age as Dominic and they fight but Madison is 5 now and really good. Right now I see myself in a mess. I started doing this in 2003 to help out with our income since we decided to have me stay home. Right now I'm watching a newborn, Three 2 yr olds, and Two 5 yr olds plus my 2 yr old son and my daughter when she's home from school. I get calls all the time from people that have been referred to me and am constantly saying "sorry I'm full!" I just couldn't handle anymore this is enough! I have constant fights with the little ones with toys, things being thrown at the new baby, new baby always crying for something, a 2 yr old potty training at the moment, and two 5 yr olds bored out of their mind constantly asking me if they can do this or that and ontop of all that I have my son who's very active and into everything either breaking it or playing with things he shouldn't. I feel like a mean mom and mean sitter because I'm constantly yelling all day at these kids! I try to be nice but it's so hard.
And another I found about hating daycare.....

There's not a moment of downtime here. Yesterday, Kaelynn (2) showed up sick again and threw up in her pack n play and was screaming because her blanket was in my washing machine because it had puke on it also.Then, Corbin (2) is acting all cranky when his mother drops him off. GREAT! She found out her child has Acid Reflux and is still cranky during the day but it normally hits him at night. Well he was extremely tired so after crying for awhile he fell asleep right on the floor. I put him in the bedroom to sleep only to return and find that Dominic my son is missing. Instinct has me run for the front door and sure enough there he is in the ditch while it's pouring rain outside looking at the water running through our lovely country culvert.

Well so I guess staying home, no daycare was what I wanted but I guess maybe I need that little bit of crazyiness around here. Maybe I've just lost my mind. I'm only watching 3 kids at the moment, one is school age and then my 3 kids but2 of my kids go back to school in 2 freakin weeks and I'll be here by myself with Damien. That's it, no more daycare kids and I'm supposed to sit here and just clean all damn day, play with him, and watch those 2 girls Mom drive down the street to my traitor neighbor who is fucking me over. I'm positive she's told K and K's mom that for her to save them a spot, she wants them to start coming over right away. And then what if our fucking house doesn't sell? Do I just continue to do nothing and watch all these damn cars going to Diann's house with their kids while I sit on my ass doing nothing??? Obviously Dave thinks so.

He knows how hard it is to get daycare kids in this area since we are out of town in the country so even if we stayed and I got more kids, it's going to take forever to find parents willing to drive here. I live in a subdivision but it's NOT the type where there's 200 houses crammed in a neighborhood, there's like 25-30 houses out here and after you get back to the main road there's miles and miles of wheat, corn and milo fields. The next closest subdivision would be about 2 miles to the east or 3 miles to the South there's nothing North or West but a zillion acres of fields.

I've been trying to take this in stride, if I don't talk about it, I won't start crying and I'm pretty good at hiding how I feel about shit.
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UPDATE: As I was bawling when I wrote this, K and K's mom called. I hesitated to answer the phone but did, trying to sound as normal as possible. She asked if we were still trying to get rid of this old school desk we had tried selling in a yard sale, I said yes, and she wanted to come over and buy it in 30 minutes. I said ok. I ran to the bathroom, threw a ton of makeup on and waited. She finally came a hour later. Told me she was going to write me a check for $55, $5 for the desk, $50 for the care even though she owes me $112. She said she'd pay the rest with whatever I watch them in August. I said "so you'll be bringing them this week?" She told me they'll start all day next week until I say I'm done. So I guess I won't be jobless just yet. She's been so wishy washy since she found out we were moving that I told Dave if we do get a contract, I'm not going to tell anyone for awhile so she doesn't try to transfer them ASAP down the street. I'm going to ask our realtor not to put a sold sign on it, not to put anything about a contract in their ad in the paper. That's it for this post. I am emotionally drained and it's only 10 AM.